Last Stand Stories - Young Justin Moola Baby

Midsummer nights bring everlasting chills.

2011-05-19T09:28:00.002-04:00

A recurring nightmare

Where nothing ever changes

You always say hello

I end up with all the pain

Like an allergic reaction I feel my throat closing

All the words ive ever wanted to say are trapped.

Stuck in a hell of what was and what isn’t

You shake as you pass it, I know that your nervous.

You wanted it as bad as I did, to reconnect.

But you were strong

And I was weak.

I couldn’t handle it.

I still cant.

Three Cheers

2010-12-27T00:19:00.003-05:00

“Shit, I’m late for my appointment.” I said out loud when I woke up and saw the clock

I tossed some old jeans and a shirt on and rushed out the door.

I raced to my car and started it up. I pulled out of my driveway pretty damn quickly. I was more or less racing down the highway. I shifted my eyes to the cigarette lighter in my car, punched it in, and turned my focus back to the road, but it was already too late. I was about to be in a head on collision.

Our cars collided with a bone shaking crash. I was thrown around the in the front seat, when the lighter popped out and landed on my left hand, it only touched it for a moment, but it tore away a layer of skin and burned the next layer down. Our cars kidded off the side of the road, we were spinning and sliding. WE finally came to a stop, I looked around me and saw my door was unblocked; I took off my seatbelt and got out. I was clambering toward the road when I remembered the other car. I turned around and saw some smoke; I started to run forward but slowed down, and just stood and stared. The other driver was a girl, in her early twenties, absolutely beautiful, and she had ice blue eyes. She saw me and started screaming. After her first screams, the car quickly started to envelope in flame.

I shouted to her “Things are better if I stay.” I could feel her eyes boring into me, questioning, pleading. “I can’t help you, the fire is too hot.” I continued

After a few moments I yelled again

“I’m so sorry!”

She yelled something back but I couldn’t hear her. Seconds later the car completely erupted into flame. I heard her screams, I could still see her, and I watched that girl die.

It’s been three months since the accident, 3 months since I’ve slept, 3 months since I’ve gone to work, and 3 months since I saw her face. For the past three months she was all I could think about. I ate her memory, I cried her memory, I bled her memory I slept and breathed her memory. Her name was Helena, she was pretty, well liked, and because I couldn’t keep my eyes on the road, she was dead. She haunted my dreams and my thoughts. I had an idea, something to take this guilt off of my chest.

When I got out of my bed the next morning, I headed right for a church. I had to confess to the priest, or pastor, or minister or whoever would listen to me. I got in and headed right for the confession booth. There was no one in there but me for a few minutes.

The door beside me opened and through the screen I saw someone sit down.

“How long since your last confession?” the man asked me

“I’m not even religious, so never.” I replied

“Then why are you here my son?”

“I need to get this guilt off of my chest.”

“Go on, I am listening.”

“I killed a woman… not directly. We got into a car crash, I was driving my vehicle and she was driving hers. I looked at my cigarette lighter in the car for a moment, and when I looked back at the road it was too late, we collided, and she died, trapped in her burning wreckage, while I escaped with a few cuts and a burn. She was beautiful, talented, loved, had her entire life ahead of her, and she’s dead. While I’m sad, pathetic, ordinary, useless, not going any where’s in life, I have no friends or family to speak of, and I survived, why am I left here and her gone?”

There was a brief pause.

“It is all in Gods will.” He said at last

“What?” I said suddenly furious

“I refuse to believe that some Divine Power, let me live, and took the life of that girl.” I continued

“It’s part of His plan for you.”

“You’re saying that God LET her die? LET her suffer, LET her burn to death?”

“Yes”

I was sick to my stomach I had to leave

“Excuse me; I can’t accept that, I have to leave.”

“What’s your name my son?”

“Icarus” then I got up and left.

It’s been 5 months since the accident, 2 months since I’ve been to the church, 6 weeks since I’ve slept, and 2 weeks since I’ve started my own following.

I started out attending meetings for people like me, survivors of fatal accidents. I met others who like me, refused to believe God had taken the life of another rather than theirs. They were all like me; they weren’t worth the air they breathed.

Tonight, me and the other survivors; my followers, have planned a protest, a protest to God. Others listened to what I said, they agreed with enthusiasm to my ideas. WE started to hold nightly meetings, where I would stand in front of a podium and lecture all those who attended. The clung desperately to my words, they trusted my judgement, I told them I would find a solution, and tonight, I present our solution, a mass suicide. No one had said a single word against it.

I stood there at the podium delivering my final sermon in the abandoned warehouse we held for our gatherings. In front of me were about 70 people waiting for me to say when.

“Tonight,” I started my voice full of authority

“Tonight, we stage a protest. We are all survivors, we survived when we shouldn’t have, and we survived because of Gods will. If we could trade our lives for the other, or others who died we would.” My words were met by a murmur of agreement.

“So what if us, those who were meant to survive, all died? Gods will, would mean nothing!” yells from the audience followed my words.

“So tonight, we lift these glasses of poison to our lips and defy His will! So drink, drink my brothers and sisters, my sons and daughters, my mothers and fathers, lovers and liars. Drink in defiance!” I screamed at them

I raised my mug to my lips, emptied it and shattered it on the ground.

Cheers erupted as the others followed suit and shattered their mugs on the ground. Some bodies fell immediately others staggered about.

I watched as my followers one by one dropped to the ground. I watched as they writhed around in pain and agony, some moaning, some cheering, but all of them dying. I clung to the podium for strength. Once they had all collapsed and ceased to move, I let go of the podium and crashed to the floor, my stomach tightened and my sight grew dark.

On the ground I turned on my back and held my arms outstretched, palms towards the heavens, I grinned and with my final breath yelled “Thank you for the venom!”

Dom was not always a religious man. Little known to the people who seek his spiritual advice, he was once a small time serial killer. Only having killed 3 people in seven years, he was never a high target. He turned to religion after reading the bible he took from his last victim; at the time he thought it was funny a hooker carried the bible with her. He sat and read through it, and came to realize, god was powerful, and there to help.

Dominic has since changed his ways. It has been eight years since killing a prostitute, six since hitting one, five since buying one. It has even been years since he last thought about killing them. He truly believed he would never hurt or even want to hurt another person. He was half right.

Today was Dom’s day for confessional duty. He watched a young man enter the booth, and then he entered shortly after. Dom saw the man seemed a little deranged, and after their conversation, he knew he was in fact deranged.

“How long since your last confession?” Dom asked him.

“I’m not even religious, so never.” he replied

“Then why are you here my son?”

“I need to get this guilt off of my chest.”

“Go on, I am listening.”

“I killed a woman… not directly. We got into a car crash, I was driving my vehicle and she was driving hers. I looked at my cigarette lighter in the car for a moment, and when I looked back at the road it was too late, we collided, and she died, trapped in her burning wreckage, while I escaped with a few cuts and a burn. She was beautiful, talented, loved, had her entire life ahead of her, and she’s dead. While I’m sad, pathetic, ordinary, useless, not going anywhere in life, I have no friends or family to speak of, and I survived, why am I left here and her gone?”

There was a brief pause.

“It is all in Gods will.” Dominic said at last

“What?” the man said suddenly enraged. “I refuse to believe that some Divine Power, let me live, and took the life of that girl.” he continued

“It’s part of His plan for you.”

“You’re saying that God LET her die? LET her suffer, LET her burn to death?”

“Yes”

The young man started breathing deep and heavily.

“Excuse me; I can’t accept that, I have to leave.”

“What’s your name my son?”

“Icarus” Then he left.

Dom went home disquieted. He felt like he had failed horribly at helping Icarus. For two months he felt worse and worse, almost in a panic. Icarus’s arguments burrowed deeper and deeper into Dom’s mind. He hit his breaking point when he saw Icarus’s picture on the front page with the headline, “Cult Leader, Organizes Mass Suicide” Dom dropped his cup of coffee and fainted.

Could he have been right? Kept drifting through Dom’s mind as he slept, and dreamt. He dreamt of lips, gloriously red like blood, the red changed throughout the dream, fading, and fading, until it was gone. Dom woke up knowing gods will would be done today.

The day was bright, almost too bright to hear, and Dom noticed, almost too loud to hear. He walked to the church in utter silence. He saw something new; he saw bright auras erupting from people as he kept walking. Some were of colors unimaginable to the human mind.

Tonight was a fundraiser meeting and everyone who attended had a gloomy grey shroud around each of them. Then in came the woman, words would not justify her, like gigantic could never describe the universe. Almost, but no cigar. Her aura was bright red, blood red, and quickly fading. Dom was alarmed at this and stared at her, she must be dying soon. She nodded towards the door with exes fixated on Dom’s stare. The pastor said something clearly meant for Dom’s ears, but he could only focus on that aura. The woman got to leave, not glancing back. The second the door closed behind her, his feet began to move towards them.

“Excuse me father” were Dom’s fleeting last words.

He hurried outside and when he saw her entering an alley he saw her aura was almost gone! Please god let me help her, he though. He saw the vampire by the aura surrounding it, before he noticed the pale skin dark eyes and murderously sharp fangs. He could see this creature had a gun in his back waistband. The beast followed her in the alley. “Lord gives me strength!” he shoulder checked the beast with such force it went flying to the ground a few feet away. It looked up at Dom and snarled...then pounced.

It leapt for him, but he side stepped just in time as claws slashed through the air where he had just been. He stuck his foot out and tripped it, using its speed against it. Putting his hands on the vampires back, he managed to throw it to the ground with a bone crushing force; three teeth fell out of its mouth. Dom sprinted for the gun which had fallen out sometime during the melee. The vampire was fast and tackled Dom just as he had brought the gun up to bear. They both went flying the vampire landed on top. With blood pouring down his face, onto Dom’s, it proceeded to make sure Dom’s face was no prize winner either. Dom was pinned, but when his fist began to grow hot, hope filled him. He struck out at its shoulder, and punched through it as the flesh that connected with his hand turned into ash. At the vampire’s screech of pain, faith filled him. He took this opportunity to drive his fist into its chest, driving it off, hitting its legs. The creature was soon a half living wreckage of tissue and cinders. Dom considered this a victory for Good. But the shot through his back after turning it to the half dead vampire begged to differ. He stumbled to his knees warmth flowing down his back and chest, then blackness.

Dom muttered, “I never told you what i did for a living”

I don’t know why, but tonight seemed like a good night to go out. So I grabbed my purse, put on some comfy shoes and walked out the door. My feet led me to the church, I don’t know why, but I never questioned wherever I ended up, I like to think I’m here for a reason. I walked in and sat down at the back in a seat close to the door. One of the first things to catch my attention was the man standing up front beside the priest. He was handsome with a very intelligent look on his face. Then, as if reading my thoughts he turned and his eyes found mine seconds later. I kept staring out of shock before I put my head down in embarrassment. Out of my peripheral vision I could see that he was still looking at me. Knowing this I decided to apply some lip gloss a little provocatively to make myself more appealing. I wouldn’t mind going home with him though; I raised my head and saw he had one eyebrow raised questionably. I gave him a very affirming look, letting him know exactly what my intentions were, and then nodded my head towards the door. He looked at me and nodded a tiny bit. As I got up to walk out the pastor was saying how this night couldn’t be possible if it was not for the man beside him, his name was Dominic. It suited him.

I went outside with one last glance in his direction, and went outside to wait, I saw him come out as I was about to walk down an alley that headed in the direction of my apartment. I didn’t see if he was coming or not when I walked down the alley. I kept walking down the alley progressively slower, waiting for him to catch up. After a little while longer I heard a gunshot echoed behind me. I figured it was time to go home before the owner of the gun decided to come down this way. Dominic could wait.

I got home and quickly went to bed I didn’t realize how tired I was. I woke to the sound of a stressed alarm and realized I had slept in. I scrambled up and shut off the alarm, then threw on the clothes that were closest to me, and ran out the door. I had an important meeting that I was already late for. I ran out to my car and set out for my office building. As I sped down the two lane highway, I realized just how slow the car in front of me was going, if I was going to get to the meeting before it ended I had to pass this car. I turned on my signal lights and went into the next lane.

Everything happened so quickly, the first thing I noticed was the front end of a car, racing down the highway towards me. Then I went spinning off the road and was being thrown around in the front seat as I slid down the side of the road. Both cars were still screeching when I came into a sudden stop because of a big tree. Once I got my bearings I realized the other car had pinned me to the tree. The impact of both the collisions left me unable to move, and left me barely breathing. I tried to move my legs, but a piece of twisted metal had fixed itself into my right leg. The blood was starting to flow freely; I could even feel the warm feeling pouring down from my mouth. That’s when I realized how potent the smell of gasoline was inside the car. Until smoke starting to filter in, I had not realized I was trapped inside of a car about to erupt in flames. I started to scream for help, looking frantically for the driver of the other vehicle.

Help me! I cried out Can you hear me? Are you near me?

Then I saw him staring wide eyed at me and the quickly developing flames. He had no intention of helping me. His face had that same intelligent look to it as Dominic’s. And before I knew it I was falling in love with the man, this man that refused to help me.

If you carry on this way... I started to whisper

Things are better if I stay He shouted suddenly

I can’t help you; the fire is too out of control. He continued

Until then I had not realized how warm it was. My skin was burning and could feel the flames licking at me. I continued to scream in pain as this man watched me die. He was shouting something to me. I didn’t know why but the only thing I could think to reply was “My name is Helena!”

Armor For Sleep

2010-12-25T01:54:00.001-05:00

Out of all of my possible options, it’s hard to believe this was my best one. Speeding down the road, only gaining more speed, I swerved in and out of traffic to avoid hitting the other cars. They don’t deserve my fate. The turn overlooking the lake was coming up fast, faster than I thought it would. Meters turned to feet as I smashed through the guardrail and over the edge. As the car plummeted off the edge I thought to myself “Maybe no one will notice, maybe no one will care.” With that final thought I crashed into the water.

The lake was shallow, but the car quickly submerged regardless of the depth.

There I sat waiting for the car to fill up with water, waiting for my lungs to beg for air. I’m in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back, I forgot to tell her this. “I don’t care that she left and abandoned me, what hurts more is I would still die for her.” This isn’t fair to her though. I bet she’ll just blame herself, Leave it to me to burden her again. I hope she believes the note, that this is not her fault, she should just forget me like everyone else did, and not think back on me at all, she just let me fall.

So here I am in a car underwater with time to kill.

I woke up back in my bed, fully clothed and soaking wet. Moments ago i felt my lungs screaming for air and my brain begging for death. I know I’m not alive, but still, why am i in my bed?

I went downstairs to see if mom or dad were home. Mom was home, but not awake. She had a bottle of sleeping pills in one hand, and a bottle of gin in the other. She wasn’t going to wake up.

I walked to her body

"I'm sorry mom; we both knew i wasn’t worth this, i told you not to believe in me."

And i walked away from her body.

Dad wasn’t home, he wasn’t at work either he was passed out in a holding cell and the police station. I walking in unnoticed among the men in uniform and went to the cell.

"I’m sorry dad, you may have needed me, but mom needed you last night, and you weren’t there for her. I told you not to believe in me."

As far as i was concerned i only had one more stop to make...

I went to her house, to find her sleeping with the blankets above her head. I sat on the foot of the bed. It never creased under my weight.

“I'm sorry i left, i couldn’t handle my reality though, that’s something you need to understand. I told you so many times not to believe in me, all i did was push you away."

As i got up to leave she started to sob. I walked back to the bed and stood in front of her she started to cry harder. I lifted the covers and took off my shoes as i lay there next to her.

I never had the gift of holding on to you,

I want to live again

I want to start everything over again.

You don’t see me.

But I look okay to you.

You hold out your hand expecting me to shake it again.

We both know I’m dead.

We both know that I’m still here.

I don’t follow where you don’t want me.

I know when you need to be alone.

Sometimes I’ll leave you for days, wander away from your bed, kind of like right now.

Those analysts are trying to pry into my brain, but I’m already gone, only two people know why I did it. You and me.

And now I’m running back to you, I miss your face, voice and tears.

I just need to see you now.

But it’s raining now.

And the thunders catching up to me.

Anything to keep me away from you.

I bet there’s a killer up ahead.

Waiting for me to walk by.

Anything to keep me away from you.

The stars are falling soon.

To break up the road.

Anything to keep me away from you.

I’ll scream at them.

I’ll stand and ill bleed.

Nothing will keep me back.

I just need to see your tears.

I don’t care about anything else.

Right now, it’s you, just you that I need.

I want to share the same air.

I want to breathe what you breathe.

Just wait for me to come back.

As i begin to float away from her bed, towards, then though the ceiling; i knew it was time to go. There was nothing left to see or hear. Everyone had moved on, some more than others. They moved on, and now so must i. as my head began to pass through the ceiling slowly, she turned on her back opened her eyes and lifted her hands to the air, for a split second, our fingers touched. I could not have just imagined it, because her eyes widened and her mouth opened and emitted a low wail, like something very important just slipped out of reach. After i passed through her ceiling then her roof i was floating above my old town, the lights began to flicker as i ascended, then they faded...then disappeared beneath the clouds.

I exhaled one long deep sigh, one that let me breathe out my pain, not the pain of longing, the pain of not being longed for. I could see her face still in my mind’s eye and it showed no longing, just frustration. My last memories of the living would be one of frustration. I began to laugh, not even quietly, i simply howled with laughter. How stupid could i be? This was all just one big joke, in a line of never ending pranks that followed my entire life. I mean, did anyone ever hear a single word out of my mouth? Will my words ever me memorialized in any way shape or form? Of course they wouldn’t why would they? I kept climbing upward, into the great unknown, i definitely knew at that point i had never been alive in the first place, sure i existed, but no i never lived. My body began to convulse as i laughed, why hadn’t anyone told me just how funny this was before? They never heard a single fucking noise from my mouth!

As the laughter subsided i was still climbing, and i felt the first drops of rain, i felt it before anyone could have possibly knew it was raining on earth. As if struck by lightning (which i may just have been) i saw, not remembered, but i saw that first day, the real first day. The one in the car. Another funny thought struck me... Don’t believes the weather is perfect the day that you die.

Donor Card

2010-12-25T01:41:00.001-05:00

Everyone in the small town of Ohio, Ontario watched the news with anticipation, tonight was the night that every year someone's donor card would be announced. While those sick in the hospitals submitted their tickets for the donor lottery, the townsfolk pretended like they were not afraid it would be their turn. Jack and Samantha were some of the few people who openly hated donor card day. They feared it, feared the power such a thing had behind the minds of people. They saw the fear, behind the anchor man’s eyes as he rolled on to each new segment, waiting for his producers to cue him to announce who was this year’s donor.

This annual contest had a few rules, no one under 18, and no one over 30. Gender, sexuality, preferences, and even health were all subjective. There were years where truly unhealthy people were the winners of the contest, and they really did not improve anything. In this day and age, that didn’t really matter though; weeks were just as valuable as years.

Jack watched the telecast with dread as Samantha rubbed his back, when he was young; he had against immeasurable odds lost both his parents to the contest when he was younger. Samantha knew this, and regretted every Donor Card day, because of what Jack would go through. She felt his pain, and she admired him for even watching the program every year. The digital clocks all throughout town simultaneously changed to 6:37.

"Now on to the important news for the night. As I'm sure everyone knows it is April 20th, our annual Donor Card Day, we have received the official name of this year’s winner. I will be announcing the name, after this short commercial break from our sponsors."

Samantha rose up from the couch "God i hate how they do that every year, I’m going to use the washroom quickly, let me know if i miss the name, even though they repeat it at least 10 damn times"

"Will do babe." Jack said smiling without showing his teeth.

The bathroom door closed behind Samantha, and seconds later the news was back on.

"Hurry up babe, it’s on!" Jack called out to Samantha.

Samantha came out of the bathroom when she had finished; finding her husband very sombre. Jack looked up at her bleakly. She knew it must have something to do with who won (or lost depending on your view point) the Donor Card lottery.

“Jack, honey was it someone we know?” She asked very cautiously, knowing how serious a subject it was to jack.

Jack opened his mouth to reply, but before he could, the anchor man repeated the name again...Samantha was shocked, to her disbelief, as must every other winner (or loser) must have felt. Her name had been called. She looked to Jack, than to the TV, where her picture was now showing, her high school grad picture. Jack, said only a couple words, but she understood the pain, and urgency behind his voice.

“Let me get my -” Samantha’s voice trailed off as Jack grabbed her hand and pulled her to the door.

“Get your shoes on, they’ll be here in minutes.” he said to her.

Sam knew this was true, almost everyone tried to run. Jack ran into the hall as she pulled her shoes on, and pulled the fire alarm. Moments later the halls filled with people, but all those who looked at Sam, shrank back to their room. This was not their battle, and Jack knew he couldn’t count on anyone to help them out. After her shoes were on, their feet were slamming down the hall, to the stair case.

They ran up to the top of their building, two steps at a time until breathlessly they emerged onto the roof.

“Quick, step onto the ledge!” Jack yelled out.

Sam quickly did what she was told, her mind still suffering from shock and awe. Lights began to flood the rooftop as news choppers hovered at the ready. Moments later the police stormed from the doorway aiming down their sights with tranquilizer guns. Sam and Jack were both completely overwhelmed by the heavy presence around them.

From the bullhorn of one of the choppers came a deep heavy voice.

“Samantha Petrellie, you have been chosen as the winner of the annual lottery, please come with us.”

“NO YOU SICK FUCKS!” Jack screamed out.

“You archaic stone age pigs! A life is not equal to another, one life is not equal to seven lives, or fifty lives even! Can you not understand the pain and suffering you cause not only the ones chosen, but every single person around them? I have lost my parents, both of them as I’m sure you know. Now you ask me to give my one love, so that a few cancerous, diseased and dying people can regain a resemblance of life?” Jack spat at the ground with his last words.

“You leave us no choice but to use necessary force” boomed the voice.

Shots began to ring as they took aim at Jack. Jack was too quick for them though, he leapt for his love, and in one stunning display of cowardice, fear, selfishness, and pain; Jack and Sam began to tumble to the ground head over heels.

Some time Around midnight

2010-09-03T00:31:00.002-04:00

It started some time around midnight. The room was packed, you could lose yourself in there, i thought to myself. making my way across the room, the band began to play some song about forgetting yourself for awhile. i sat at the bar and ordered another gin and tonic. high school reunions remind me of high school, full of braggers and gossipers, nothing ever changes. i thought maybe i would regret not coming out tonight, but i am now having doubts about that. i silently agreed with myself to leave soon.

    That's when i saw her smile, the piano playing some melancholy soundtrack. she looks different, but exactly the same. The dress proved it. White sleek,long with bright psychedelic flowers at the bottom. It was like looking at a garden on LSD. She looked at me and gave a look, one that meant both I'm sorry and nothing has changed. i grabbed for my smokes and knocked my drink over in the process. it spilled on me, and by the time i dried myself up a bit, i saw her leaving. i know she wanted me to see her leave, and who she was leaving with. I twitched as if electrically shocked. my chest began to hurt and my eyes started to burn. i rushed out the door on the opposite side of the building and hurried a smoke into my mouth. as i stood smoking she drove right by me, without a single glance. Exhaling a deep sigh, i put the smoke out and got into my car.

    it felt like i was driving for hours, drifting in and out of my own conscious movement. i finally decided to pull over and i stepped into the bar. i parked beside the building got out and walked towards the entrance. The guy headed in held the door for me. i caught the door with my right hand, and caught his face with my left. i swing a hook and hit him in the side of the head. while he was disoriented, and threw him down to the ground, he tried to get back up but i kicked his nose in. That definitely dissuaded him.

    The girl with him, the one in the beautiful white dress screamed in horror, than fury. “What the fuck are you doing here nick? you psycho! stop stalking me, I'm sorry about what happened between us, but you cant keep doing this!” She began to howl in misery. i stared at her while i pointed a gun to her mans head.

“if i cant have you, no one can.”

I shot him twice, her four times, and myself once.

.: Re-made :. Early Sunsets Over Munroeville

2010-01-21T16:39:00.000-05:00

It was and early morning, to match the early sunset. I had a busy day ahead of me; I had to take Mariah shopping in town. Firstly I had to take a shower, eat breakfast then call Mariah to make sure she was ready before I drove over. I grabbed some pants and a shirt, jumped into the shower, dried off, then put on my clothes. For breakfast I made some scrambled eggs. I ate slowly, savoring the morning. When I finished I called Mariah.

“Mornin’ beautiful, ready for a day of shopping? I asked

“Sure am, you heading over now?”

“Yup”

“Okay, see you soon, love you”

“Love you” then I hung up.

It was a ten minute drive to her house; I rolled down the windows and took it easy. The morning breeze was quite refreshing. When I pulled into her laneway she was already outside waiting for me. By the time I had opened my door, she was already in front of me, and I took her in my arms and kissed her. She kissed me back, and I could feel the longing in her movements, but we had to stop. We walked back to the car and drove into town. It was a 30 minute drive to the mall; we made lots of small talk. We talked about what we did the night before, I watched some movies and she went to bed early. Before we knew it, we were already there. Only a few other cars were in the lot, it seemed like no one wanted to shop this early.

We walked out and went to the stores she wanted to visit. She tried on outfits for awhile and then bought the ones she thought were best. All in all it had only taken us about 3 hours to do the shopping. So we had an early lunch at the food court and spent a few hours just talking, about the weather, music, movies, friends, and all sorts of stuff. Tired of sitting we had decided to just walk around for awhile. We rode up down the escalators countless times, sat by the fountain watching others shop around, walked by a lot of cheesy half price sales, and we spent the last few hours just talking and walking, stopping occasionally. When I looked at my watch, I realized how late it actually was. We took the elevators to the parking level. It was dark and almost closing time anyways.

When we got out of the elevators we headed towards the doors leading outside, but on the other side we noticed these incredibly pale, wiry people, all standing there staring inwards. When a lady tried to pass through they all moved aside, until she got halfway through the crowd, once she was halfway, they surrounded her. She kept turning in circles, obviously freaked out, so where we. Then all of a sudden, one of them leapt onto her back, and lowered his face to her neck in a second. We saw the blood spurt out of her neck from where we where, she collapsed to the ground screaming in pain. Others knelt down to what looked like drink her blood. The others who weren’t near to her, turned at the sound of our yells, one of the ones closest to us, jumped through the glass shattering it, and getting closer to us.

“Mariah! Run!” I yelled while pulling her hand as I started to run.

I only heard our two set of feet, but I felt like it was chasing us.

“Where those…” Mariah began

“Vampires?” I finished for her

“It couldn’t have been, that’s impossible!” I continued.

“But those fangs and that lady!” she yelled.

Then it occurred to me, no matter whom or what those were, they probably didn’t want witnesses, and they already saw us. I took a sharp turn down the hallway and raced towards the gun store with her hand still firmly in mine.

“Where are we going?” she asked

“Whatever those things were, we need some sort of protection.”

I burst into the store to find it empty of people; we raced to the back and jumped the counter. We grabbed a shotgun each, a pistol each and a six shooter each. We loaded the guns just in time, when one of those pail people cam at us, he was fast, too fast to be human, he burst into the store with fangs bared. Our shots rang out and seconds later his body hit the floor. Knowing the others had most likely heard the shots we reloaded and left quickly.

We ran into the back door and into the maintenance hallway, we ran into a washroom and locked the door behind us. It was a large washroom with bright fluorescent lights. We just hid in the back with our guns in our hands. So there we waited for who knows how long, Mariah quietly sobbing on my shoulder. Occasionally screams were heard throughout the echoing mall. We heard some howls of those things nearby, they were very close. Out of nowhere one of them banged on the door and Mariah let out a loud shriek of horror. They must of heard Mariah because they all seemed to have worked into a frenzy and started howling and screaming and banging on the door. We stood up and held our shotgun in front of us and prepared for the worst, prepared to fight for our survival. We cocked the shotguns as the lock cracked and the door slowly swung open.

On the other side of the door were 7 vampires staring at us. They rushed at us and we started to shoot. What must have been seconds dragged on like hours. Two of them went down amidst the hail of gunfire, and as they got closer another two of them dropped hard. We let the shotguns fall from our hands and took out our pistols. Knowing they were getting too close I stepped forward and shot, hitting one of them in the face twice. The remaining two both lunged, one at me, and the other right over me. I was brought down to the ground; I desperately attempted to keep its mouth away from my neck as I wrestled my hand out of its grip. I managed to get my hand free and brought the pistol under his chin and I just kept shooting. The first two shots demolished his face while the others went into the ceiling hitting the lights and causing them the flicker and spark.

I rolled the vampire off of me and lay there exhausted, they were strong. I then remembered Mariah. I got to my feet and pumped the shotgun one more time. In the flickering light I saw one pail body on top of Mariah’s. She was too close to the vampire I could not shoot. Raising the gun like a club I brought it down on the head of the vampire with a sickening thud. Seeing his head was caved in from the blow I rolled him off of her. Mariah was unconscious but she was still breathing. I sat her up and held her against me, brushing my hand against her neck I felt something warm and sticky. Her neck was covered in blood. I looked at her and saw a gaping hole in her neck from the vampires teeth. She woke up soon afterwards looking dazed.

“What happened?” she asked me.

“Well, while you were sleeping another 30 or 50 of them came. I fought them all off so I could hold you close and tight.” I said making an attempt at humour.

She just laughed, but her voice sounded strained.

“What’s on my neck?” she asked bringing her hand to her neck, shen she saw that her hand was covered in blood here eyes opened wide but she couldn’t say anything. I held her close and whispered in her ear.

“You know what I have to do right?” I could barely get the words out.

“I know” she replied

“I love you, you know that?”

“I know you do, that’s why you wont let me become one of those things.”

I kissed the back of her neck and whispered again into her ear.

“exactly”

I kissed her temple and sat her against the wall.

“Maybe…maybe you wont change from just one bite?” I offered half heartedly

“You cant risk it.”

I got up and walked away from her.

“Mariah, I don’t know if I have the guts to put this to your head…I mean, either way you’ll be dead, being one of those things can hardly be considered living can it?” I said as I cocked the gun and made sure it was loaded. Her eyes already started to turn vacant and stained…like theirs were.

“I love you” she told me

“saying you love me only makes things harder at best.” I said smirking

“im sorry”

“don’t be”

“good because im not, I love you”

I steadied my aim from its wild shaking and aimed the pistol

“I love you too” I told her tears streaking down my face

Then I pulled the trigger.

I stood there, watching her lifeless corpse. I couldn’t help but to think to myself, ‘I was going to marry that girl’. I opened the door and left towards the parking lot, when I thought of her body there, surrounded by all of those…those things. I went back and got her body, and carried it back to my car. I drove up to the cliff we went to on our first date, the night we stayed up and talked all night and decided it was meant to be. I laid her on the roof of my car, and lay there beside her thinking.

I waited until sunset, to pull the trigger on myself. I’d always remember that one last early sunset over munroeville.

Lost..in space.

2010-01-08T23:04:00.000-05:00

Day 1
I was awoken by a loud mechanical churn. Gears grinned and produced an awful mechanical screech, a screech that no doubt made me wonder what it was and where it had come from. I should not have been able to hear anything...i shouldn't be awake. Rolling onto my stomach i put my hands to the cold metallic floor and raised myself to my feet. i approached the thick transparent windows and looked out, absolute darkness, and barely seen were stars that lined the entire horizon. As my memory came back to my, i was not surprised to learn i was in space and i was in fact by myself. The mechanical grind had stopped by now, and there was only silence. the engines of the craft never made a noise as the living quarters were far from the engines. Looking out the window i realized there was a problem, i was on a 400 year expedition, and i was awake. Panicked, i went over to the computer and checked the date log. it was 290 years into the expedition...there was defenitly a big problem. slowly i walked back to the cryogenic chamber, and saw the slow flashing of the malfunction light. i was 110 years from my arrival point and i was awake.

Calmly, i walked back to the computer to search for a repair manual for the cryogenic chamber, there was none to be found. i whispered as calmly as i could to myself "fuck". The first thing they taught in the academy was to never lose your cool, that is why i was chosen for this mission. Nothing could have prepared me for this turn of events though. Searching my memory for any relevant information was useless, it would take about 25 years to send a message back to earth, and another 25 to receive one. I'm already 37 years old, i don't think i can survive for another 50 years with the limited food resources i have here. Regardless, i decided to send a message. "Dear who ever is in charge now, this is an emergency message being sent to you from Captain King, i am currently in distress, i have awoken from my mission 110 years early, and my cryogenic tube is malfunctioning and i have no knowledge of repairing it. please respond asap, i am scared."

Pressing send i got a shiver that ran down my back, and a feeling that told me i would be dead before i received any message. First things first, i had to see how much food i had and ration it. After counting it all out 10 times, i found i had enough food to last me about 46 years...if i could stretch it out enough i might be able to survive!

Day 2
i went about my daily tasks i had arranged for myself, first thing was to exercise, then some maintenance on all the systems i had been trained to repair. this kept me busy for approximately two hours. nothing was left to do but sit around.

Day 8
Today i discovered someone...or something else is on the ship with me, i could hear them moving about. dropping things, scratching things.

Day 17
My Paranoia of something or someone else on this ship is just that, i have become hysteric and have noticed the beginning symptoms of cabin fever. Today while searching for the sound i kept hearing and mistaking for something else, was actually just various parts of the ship making appropriate noise.

Month 6
Nothing has changed, the ship remains reliable, my body remains strong, the food is lasting more than i thought. except my mind, is ripping itself apart. sometimes i wake up in odd places or with odd tools in my hands. i fear i have developed a second personality. I can only hope this is not true, or that if it is, my second personality is a good person with good intentions.

Month 8
My Situation has changed immensely for the better. The second personality i have developed is a genius mechanic. I seem to be fixing the cryogenic chamber every now and then when i seem to doze off.

1 Year + 2 Months
Everything is ruined. i have damaged the cryogenic chamber beyond repair by smashing in the glass fronting with a wrench. i woke up with a large wrench held in my hand and shattered glass around me. i am not going to make it.

1 Year + 7 Months
My mind is a battlefield, i woke this 'morning' and smashed everything, the computers, the nav systems, the life support. The worst part is, it was not this alternate personality, it was me, i woke in such a rage at everything i had to destroy my prison. but i couldn't not. here i am, trapped, like a bug on a paper airplane i soar to my death. I did have one option left.

1 Year + 7 Months
I turn to my last option, my last possible option. On ship they have one suicide pill in case of extreme emergencies...like mine. i will sleep on it, but if i don't change my mind tomorrow is the day.

1 Year + 7 Months
i awoke after a terrible nights sleep, i had destroyed the lights in this space carriage so i was in almost perfect darkness. completely unsaturated by mans false impressions. i got out of my bed, and made my way across the glass covered floor, i was barefoot by choice, i wanted to be able to feel before i would never feel again. i ate a meal of the best food i had on ship, drank some grape juice, and put the pill into my mouth and swallowed

EXPERIMENT OVER
screamed out a loud voice. slowly the walls began to separate and lift, beyond them was an audience, and a screen. all these people were adorned in white coats...lab coats. I struggled to my feet, and walked towards them, the seem startled at my sudden appearance. i looked at the screen and saw myself, with a bewildered look on my face. i fell to my knees and men with bright red crosses stitched to their arms quickly ran to my side and lifted me up. As i was wheeled out of the room strapped to a gurney, i saw a sign on the door that said
"The effects of being lost in space"

"you bastards "i quietly whispered under my breath

Goofy Words

2009-12-12T04:10:00.000-05:00

its 4 am, the coffees on.
the feelings have withdrawn.
im not upset, im not bemused.
the only thing thats different is my bodies abused.

i take the beatings im handed out.
another chance to redoubt
everything thats happened so far
my patience is sub par

the moon light glows
just like the sink overflows.
the windows open and the hose connected
to everyone but me this is unexpected.

Monoxide lullabies sing my brain to sleep
as they overcome and begin to seep.
im passive and willing
to let something else do the killing.

Plaster that goofy smile on now
and start to disavowe
anything anyone has ever said
just remember theyll wind up dead.

Ohio is for killers

2009-12-12T03:53:00.000-05:00

Facebook, adding random people and making a modern crank call with some friends.
it cant be much better than this i thought to myself.
Me and my friend bill added this girl neither of us knows, and talked ot her on facebook chat. we fucked her around pretty hard, it was easy because she seemed mildly retarded. she was from ohio, a good 2 days drive from me i had no worry id ever see her. we were hitting on her, then rejecting her, then flirting, then swearing and verbally abusing her. it might be mean, but god she was dumb.

me: so you think im sexc?
kaylie:oh yea a real sex machine
bill: you like robots?
kaylie: there cool i guess
bill:you fucking robo slut.
kaylie: what?
me: we mean...we like your hair
kaylie: OH THANKS! it took me all day too do.
me: we cant fucking see your hair
kaylie: oh maybe you saw me earlier?
bill: LOLOL yea thats fucking likely.
kaylie: i dont like you guys
me: i thought you loved us long time?
kaylie: i think your cute, but your also mean.
bill: maybe you should teach me some manners?
kaylie: maybe with a fucking knife.
bill: LOL WTF
me: psycho bitch
kaylie: ill be over soon :)
*kaylie is offline*

Me and bill laughed to each other talking about how dumb she was, saying shed be over soon.
"does she know where you live?" bill asked me
"Well its on my facebook profile." i replied
Bill laughed :she lives in fucking ohio, the way she was talking about she was saying it like a city."
we stopped laughly shortly, and went to google and searched in ohio ontario.
a result came up...a small little township, about ten minutes from my town.

"how long has it been since she got offline?" i asked bill
"about like...20 minutes i think." bill answered me

headlights shone in from the driveway and moments later, the front door opened.
"Hello boys, im here for our date." said the voice that could only have been Kaylies.

i looked bill in the eye and said "This was a TERRIBLE idea!"

This was a terrible idea. Part 1. The introduction

2009-12-12T02:54:00.000-05:00

The year us 2045, and just like all the old movies predicted, prisons are dangerously overcrowded. so the government has come up with a cruel but entertaining way to empty these prisons.Inmates who participate in this game are given special powers, but there not told what they are, or how to control them, subsequentyl some inmates are killed within seconds of the game, some within hours. If an inmate wins three matches in a row, they are set free. these games consist of 20 inmates, each with unique special abilities. once an inmate is killed by another, the killer will then aquire the deceased powers, potentially unaware of what they are or how to control them.

Now, Lets meet our contestants tommy!

School House Blues

2009-12-12T02:27:00.000-05:00

Mike loved his job. he was a kindergarden teacher, he enjoyed forming and moulding the minds of the young, setting them on the right path to becoming a functioning member of society. make was in charge of a class of deltas, who required a bit of an unconventional education.

"Okay guys, thats enough work! its time for a crack break!| mike yelled out to the kids in the room.
they all cheered and gathered infront of him and waited for him to pass out the crack pipes. a chorus of "me first's" rang out. mike struck the loudest one in the face with his fist, sending the chilkd sprawling and crying.
"You;re crying? back of the line!" he scremed at the kid.

Mike proceded to hand out the pipes, crack rocks, and lighters to the children. Mike began to look at his watch to see if a record would be set today.
crash
nope not today.
mike apprached the child who had dropped his pipe, "Please sir, may i please have another pipe? the child pleaded.
"What, so you can break that one too?" and kicked the childs behind sending him sliding across the ground. "looks like someone needs a timeout." the child tried to protest but mike proceeded to place the child in a 2 foot cubed block in the ground and closed the latch. the childs cries instantly dissapeared.

Crack time otherwise went along quite sufficiantly. one other child had burnt himself, and mike taught him that if he were to burn his hand, he would be useless and out of work not being able to afford food. mike demonstarted this by not allowing the child to eat any lunch or snacks.the end of the day was drawing near and he could not find a single specimen to teach a lesson with. mike smiled to himself, he liked the days he didnt have to kill any children.

Full Moon Saga Part 1.

2009-11-30T00:00:00.000-05:00

I opened the door and a cold blast of win greeted me with an aggressive howl. I proceeded to step out with my dog firmly attached to her leash. it was time for me to go to bed, which meant it was time for her to go out for the last time today. I stepped onto the porch and noticed the full moon, how bright it was, how absolutely everything was visible under its eerie glow. I walked down the steps of my front porch and proceeded to walk around my house to the backyard, were my dog did her business. Immediately after she stepped off the porch, she caught a whiff of something, an animal I guessed by the way her fur was raised on the back of her neck. She darted around the trail of scent she could identify, running back and forth and side to side trying to find the mysterious source of the scent. We walked along the brightly lit trail; I gave thanks to the moon for not making me turn on my outside lights and laughed lightly to myself.

We reached the back of my house, and she looked up, and sniffed loudly and just as quickly as she had found the scent, she darted away from me pulling the leash out of my hand. She ran to the back of the property, and as fast as she could run from side to side of the clearing I call my back yard. She sniffed at the ground again, and just as I ran to her and got the leash in my hands (no more one handed leash holding for me) a loud crack came out of the woods. It was getting close to winter and frost was forming earlier and earlier every night, so I just thought it was a normal branch breaking from the frost. My dog immediately started to bark, loudly, and tried to get away from me.

'Come on you silly pup, it’s just the cold.' I told her.

crack

another branch broke in the forest and my dog quieted down, and started to whimper softly. time to go inside I thought to myself.

crack. another branch, but this one was closer than the first two. my dog started to shake and I tried to pull her towards the front of the house but she wouldn’t budge, as if she was frozen in place.

crack

this time the sound came from slightly to our left, and my dog immediately start to pee. well it’s about time I thought and started towards the house again, half dragging her with me. Then I knew what she was whimpering about, and I knew what she smelt. from close by, a wolf (or maybe coyote I wasn’t too sure) started to howl. By close I didn’t mean I heard it off in the distance, this animal was maybe about 50 feet out to my left in the thick brush.

My dog took off before the howl was even over, like a spell had suddenly been broken. she tore out of my hands again and ran to the front. Freaking out I decided to follow her as fast as I could to the front door. the animal came crashing through the woods after me (at least I thought it was after me) and I sped up even more, pumping my legs like I don’t think I ever have before. I finally made it to the front door just as I heard this animal break through the tree line and onto my property. I locked the door, and ran to every lockable door and window in my house. then I went upstairs into my room and turned off the lights. I found my dog hiding underneath the bed. I tried to console her. and I realized just how silly I was being. I started to laugh, and turned on my room light and went back to consoling my dog, when I noticed a wet spot near her lower body, she had peed again. she must be absolutely terrified I guess. I laughed again to myself thinking about how I had probably been pretty close to pissing myself.

BANG BANG BANG

The animal was at my door, how could it make such a huge noise? I realized if it kept that up, it might break down the door. I ran to my walk in closet and pulled out my hunting shotgun, and then ran down to the stairs, it was still banging away, right up until I stood facing the door on my landing, it seemed to stop only then. after a few moments I started back up the stairs thinking it had gone away, but just as I did it started again. I stood again facing the door, the now soundless door and waited. I could hear it walking around on my porch its feet making distinct animal paw noises. it was growling too, a low, long, menacing growl. as I listened I realized it was pacing, waiting. I started to shake with fear, and sat down, deciding I could get a clearer shot if I was more stable. after a few seconds, it started to hit the door again, lightly as if trying to remind me it was still there. oh, I knew it was there all right. It was hitting the door at regular intervals. teasing me I thought calmly. I brought the shotgun to bear, and pumped it. as soon as I did the door and the porch were silent, no more noises. It must have known I meant business.

Seconds passes, then minutes, and still nothing. im being so rediculous i thought, but then again, that thing chased me, and pounded on my door. I stood up and walked slowly with my gun still raised to the door, i looked out the window and nothing was there, but i saw claw marks on the porch. i turned around and headed back upstairs.

crash

that was my glass door! it was inside the house! i reached the top of the stairs and sat there shaking and waiting for it to come out. waiting for it to come up the stairs.
"I'm up here!" i yelled out.
It came running towards my voice, and slowly started up the stairs to the landing. i saw its front paw, long, covered in sleek black fur, its claws were inches long, and the more i saw of its arm, i realized this was not a wolf or a coyote... now its second paw was visible. i was shaking like mad, what in the hell was this thing?
then came the head, long muzzle, teeth already barred. Those eyes...they were black. it turned to look at me and growled...i was on the verge of screaming, just looking at it made me want to scream. i shot. with the speed of lightning it moved out of the way, and as i cocked the gun, it jumped out, and started to run up the stairs at me, i had maybe seconds before i could feel its teeth against my neck, it hit the gun out of my hands, and slashed me across the stomach. i felt my blood course out over me spilling down onto the floor. i was now on my back, unable to even scream. this thing above me, biting me, tearing into me. this was my death.

My dog came barking mad out the bedroom door, and stood facing this creature. my dog jumped at it, biting its neck. the creature screamed and ripped my dog off throwing her against the wall. my dog got up, injured and bit its throat again, this time causing it to bleed everywhere. some of its blood started to drip onto me, and i realized it was black. as the two fo them fought, i got up, and crawled into my room. i threw my hands underneath my mattress, and pulled out a knife. my dog couldnt hold it off for long, that much was obvious, but as this thing would come for me, i would plunge this knife into its heart. hopefully killing it. i heard a large thunk and i knew it was my dog, god rest her, trying to save me.
"You son of a bitch, you motherfucking piece of shit come get me!" i screamed tears sprawling down my face. it came for me alright, i lay there knife at my side ready to plunge it into this things heart. it leapt at me, and i took my opportunity, i streatched out my arm as its body got near mine, and i saw the knife sink into its flesh, it howled like nothing ive ever heard before. its flesh started to burn, peel off of its body. it limped away and fell down the stairs. i felt something inside of me, pride? no this was a physical thing, it was starting to hurt, right whereever it slashed and bit me. i then noticed the bleeding had stopped and my wounds had begun to heal.

i looked down the stairs at the wimpering body of the creature, and before my eyes, it started to change, most of its fur and flesh were all around it, and i saw pink skin everywhere, it shrunk too. now it had a face, a human face. i looked on at this horror and all i could muster to say or think was.
"werewolf."

Do you mean it?

2009-11-09T19:06:00.000-05:00

Be prepared, dont be scared
its just a new nightmare
im scared of loss, dont be cross
for this youve got a flare

your blood is dark
your wounds are deep
but that wont stop you will it?

This aint no park
i dont get sleep
unless i have a fit.

things have changed
wont be the same
not ever again.

your deranged
your not to blame
but ive just lost a friend.

this is hard, way too hard
that memory to discard.
its not replaced just an association
with a weak stomach and a nauseous negotiation.

i didnt sleep, i was scared.
you'd be gone
so in that room i didnt share.
you had the couch and i just watched was that wrong?

were both so far away.
like watching a play
your on the stage and i
am in the audience watching you walk by.

Calling

2009-09-16T09:07:00.003-04:00

it was the first day of my last year of high school. i had lost weight over the summer and at the risk of sounding vain, i was looking good. i stepped on the bus feeling good about the year. i noticed some girls checking me out as i walked down the aisle. i blushed shyly and sat alone, i was not the most popular kid in the world. i got off the bus and went right to the gymnasium to get my schedule for the year. i looked it over and was happy i got all the courses i wanted and need to go to university. i headed to my locker, then i was off to my first class which luckily for me was study hall. i took my seat at the back of the class in the corner, all the desks were in groups of four and all facing each other. i sat down, opened my books and pulled out my ipod and started listening to some of the stranger music i owned. the teacher started to talk but i ignored him and decided to write some poetry

i sit here

my last year

I'm scared to start my life

it feels like it will never start

life is laced with ambition

mine have all but died.

i scrawled senselessly not even trying to form a theme, i was just writing. as i scratched out my last line i heard a muffled voice. i took off my ear buds and looked up. it started out as a feeling, which then grew into a hope, which then turned into a quiet thought, then into a quiet word.

"Hello" barely escaped my lips.

"I asked what you were writing." she said cheerfully

i looked down at the page and saw my hand shaking. i quickly stopped it and she must have noticed because she started giggling.

"It's nothing i just write random little poems." i said to her.

"oh? mind if i read it?" she asked as she grabbed my binder from my hands. she read the last line out loud.

angels always sit at dawn

"That's weird." she said

"What is?" i asked her

"Why did you write about me?"

"I didn't." i replied half embarrassed by the coincidence.

"so you think I'm an angel?" she smiled

"i didn't write that about you, how could i know your name?"

"The teacher introduced me to the class."

"I wasn't paying attention." i admitted

Deciding to change the subject i asked to see her schedule, she handed it over.

"oh wow that's odd, we have all the same classes" i told her

she looked at me.

"really?" she asked holding out her hands.

i put the schedules into her hands and let her look them over.

"that's not very surprising actually." she giggled

whys that?" i asked confused

"You seem very creative, and these are all creative courses."

"oh aha." i replied blushing a bit.

we kept talking the rest of class until the bell rang. we gathered out books together and before we got up she looked at me, smiled, and asked me.

"will you carry my books to class?"

my heart raced.

"Of course dawn" i smiled and picked up her light books.

As we made our way to the next class the linked her arm to mine.

"since your my only friend here, I'm gonna need you to show me around and help me out." she said rather happily.

"there is not much to show but id be happy too."

When we got to art class we found two empty seats next to each other.

That's how it all started, we fell in love.

This is where her story ends.

"Watch out!" i screamed

"I'm free! I'm finally free!" she said as her body soared off the top of the school.

"NOOO!" i yelled running trying to hold her back.

she arced through the sky, yelling one long sorry, then she landed. by the time the ambulance got there it was too late, it was too late by the time she hit the ground.

i was a wreck, for months her ghost haunted my every waking moment. i always sat in her seat at school, i wore her sweater to sleep. everyone could see it, i was starting to lose it. i was a zombie, barely functioning, my eyes constantly red and puffy. as the weeks went by, school was coming to a close and we had to clean our lockers, i morbidly decided to clean dawns locker. i opened the locker, and it was empty save one note falling to the ground. i bent over to pick it up, and read it.

I'm sorry.

But just because everything is changing, doesn't mean its never been this way before. all you can do is know who your friends are, before you head off to the war. Call my name, and ill come back to you. this isn't the first or last or worst time this has happened.

i cried, constantly for hours and hours. i never showed anyone the note. what did she mean? how many times had i screamed out her name? i woke up early one morning at around 4 o'clock, i couldn't fall back asleep, so i decided to go visit her. i went to the school and climbed up to the place she jumped from. i sat there until i noticed dawn threatening to break.

it started out as a feeling, which then turned into a hope, which then turned into a quiet thought, then into a quiet word.

"dawn?" i said, barely whispering...nothing.

"Dawn?" i repeated...nothing

the sun was going to break soon.

"Dawn!" i yelled out tears streaming down my face.

"DAWN" i screamed her name out over and over until i was breathless...nothing.

"If you don't come back to me, then I'm coming to you dawn!" i screamed at the sun.

i backed up from the edge of the school roof, about twenty feet. i took in a deep breath, and ran. i ran to the edge and as i screamed her name, i leaped from the edge, sailing through the sky, i shut my eyes, and continued to scream her name past my lips.

i was shaking, i was so nervous, so confused. i quickly looked down and wrote some words across my page. she sat down across from me, staring at me. when she saw i finished writing, she asked to see it. i pushed my binder over to her.

"Read it out loud please." i asked her.

"Now where back to the beginning

It's just a feeling and no one knows yet

but just because they can feel it too

it doesn't mean you have to forget

let your memory grow stronger

till I'm before your eyes

you came back

when i called you." she finished slowly looking up.

"William?" she asked not sure of herself.

i smiled as wide as possible.

"I'm here dawn."

Chapter 1. They wont Believe

2009-09-15T22:20:00.003-04:00

It was nice out, the stars were visible, and i was fucking high, and about to get higher. i was with a group of my friends, and we knew how to have a good time, i was a bit burnt out, so i slowed down with my friend bill. we were on our way to the soccer field to play roman goalie. the air was crisp, and every breath i took, was exhilarating. me and bill walked slowly behind the others, looking at the stars. bill stopped mid step and asked me what that white thing was. i looked over and noticed a star surrounded by a white cloud, it didn't look like a regular cloud. more like the trail a plane left behind it. we both stopped to look at the star. at this point we were wondering if it was moving or not, if it was a satellite. we saw it moving slowly but surely and deemed it a satellite, we had started to walk again, when we both looked back.

"Is it moving faster?" bill asked me

"I don't think so...wait a minute...it could be." i replied back.

"Why do you think its moving faster?"

"Maybe its a u.f.o" i joked

we both laughed at that, we kept laughing right until it sped up, a huge noticeable acceleration across the sky, it moved quickly for a few seconds, and as we looked on at this strange sight, it faded out, it didn't disappear behind a tree, or a cloud, it just got dimmer and dimmer, until we couldn't see it.

"What in the fuck!" bill yelled out.

i stood there unable to open my mouth, or make a noise. what in the hell had we just seen? we ran to catch up with our friends.

"GUYS!" i yelled out

they all turned around to see why i was yelling.

"we just saw a fucking u.f.o!" i continued

they all laughed at us.

"No he's serious guys." bill told them.

"You do realize you are both high, and probably saw a satellite?" said Mitch very sarcastically.

"We KNOW what we saw man, don't you fucking believe us?" i yelled out

"Sure man, of course we believe you think you saw a u.f.o" replied Mitch.

"Just forget about it man." he continued

bill and i let it drop, they wouldn't believe us. i don't blame them though, i hardly believe myself. we played our game of roman soccer. i was in net first, as i tried to block the roman candle shots from getting in the net, i kept looking back at the sky, hoping to catch another glimpse of the unknown. as i looked back up, i got hit in the chest, and then the leg in mid air by two shots. i fell to the ground laughing, and i decided not to look back up that night. we pulled out some joints, and decided to light them up.

i woke up the next day with a fuzzy recollection of what went down. i remember the u.f.o me and bill saw, but the more i thought of it, the more unrealistic it seemed. to many logical explanations for it to be something so incredible. i got dressed and went out into town. i decided to talk to bill about it. i got to bills house and saw his front door was open, i ran in to see if he was okay, i walked in and saw everything askew, the furniture ruined, glass shattered. i walked around cautiously when i stepped on a creaky floor board. and suddenly bill jumped up and swung an axe right at me. i jumped back terrified and screamed, i tripped over the broken glass and fell. the axe landed into the wall with a heavy thud. bill stood above me panting, almost crying.

"Jesus Christ I'm so sorry."

"what in the fuck is going on man?"

"They were here, They were fucking here."

by the tone in his voice, i could only assume who he meant.

"what we saw last night?"

he just nodded, he then walked over to his desk, and pulled out a portable battery operated radio, then proceeded to turn it on.

"-et to cover. if you hear this transmission, lock your doors, arm yourselves. a group of unknown beings have landed sporadically through the country, very few things are confirmed, but they have been seen dragging away humans. this is a recording, get to cover."

"what..." i stared at him, with questions in my eyes.

"I don't know, they took my parents."

bill then started to cry. i tried to console him, but i knew i couldn't. my own parents had died years ago, so i knew how he felt. we sat there, holding each other for what seemed like ever, when bill suddenly stood up.

"My uncle has a hunting cabin, 6 K's out of town, i have a key here, he has guns, lots of them, and lots of ammo there. if we can make it there we can ride this out." bill told me

"how do we know we can kill them?" i asked

bill walked over to one of his back rooms and called me over. i got up and walked over to his side, and nearly screamed from what i saw. there three of them were, they were small, had two legs and four arms, two of them were tiny, to of them proportionate to their body's. they had three eyes, one on each side of their head and one in the middle. they were all dead, with axe wounds all over their bodies.

bill looked at me and said "that's how i know."

TO BE CONTINUED

Paper Bag

2009-09-11T12:30:00.002-04:00

Our hands held high

we leave our ambitions behind

and cry out 'Lord im ready to die'

our love in our chest

a large weight on it too

we cant decide what would be best

we scar ourselves constantly

we free ourselves consistently

so we feel less physically

we dont feel a little bit real

we believe no one else exists

we think were alone in this ordeal

i never feel lonely without you

but when we get close its apparent

this is too good to be true.

starving

2009-09-11T12:24:00.001-04:00

patience begins to grip me tighter

this feeling is strong and its getting harder

to control myself, control this urge

i pray to god this disease to purge

i plead for his help once again

i curse out your name, and call you my friend

i hope these scars quickly will mend

then here comes my razor hungry again

eating its may across my skin

with every cut i bleed out my sin

let me repay you with blood

to reach forgiveness i have to let out the flood

im guilty, anything but innocent

but the razor is indifferent

it doesent care what i did then

its just hungrier than its ever been

it wants more than my flesh now

it wants to bleed me out

to allow it to feast

to finally kill the beast.

2009-09-09T11:32:00.002-04:00

Dear God, save me

even if it is empty

show me your heaven

show me edens garden

show me that bare fruit tree

teach me that it is not just me

show me why i crawl

show me my downfall

sit with me in that old paradise

tell me stories of men and mice

tell me why were never satisfied

and i'll explain to you why i cried.

I hope im not a dissapointment.

2009-08-28T12:55:00.002-04:00

i miss you.

infact i never kew you

i have no memories of us.

just childhood videos.

where you laugh and smile and hold me.

but thats as far as it goes for us.

i was too young

to remember you

to remember you passing away..

but here i am

almost 18

and i cant help but wonder

are you watching over me?

do you see all of my mistakes?

do see you all my downfalls.

do you notice how happy i make everyone.

i hope your not dissapointed

your son never raised me.

and neither did you.

but thats not your fault

i drifted away

all the time.

if you were here

what would we talk about?

would i ask you for advice

would i ask for your help

would we talk about girls

would you tell me about the good ol days.

would you ask me my troubles

would you buy me a beer?

or would i shut you out

and ignore you

like i do the rest of my family

im not close to them

i never have been,

i dont think i ever will be.

i feel all alone when my family is here.

i dont like them. or talking to them.

but here i am.

if your reading this.

if your watching over me

i wan you to know

i miss you

and god do i love you.

Tree a) and Tree b)

2009-08-28T12:41:00.002-04:00

i was walking in the forest

all alone

and i noticed two things

the first thing i noticed

was this young green tree,

he was tall

but he never stood tall

he leaned forward with his face in the mud.

an arch in his back as he tried to stand up

as he tried to keep from going down.

then my eyes drew t tree number two.

he was old, he was dead, he didnt even have any roots.

what struck me about him.

was he was broken, and leaning on tree number one.

i wondered to my self.

if he knew what was going to happen

if he knew he would fall down.

i feel like he did.

he knew he was falling.

he wanted to stop it.

so he tried to keep himself up,

keep himself alive,

by maybe leaning on tree number one

tree number one was not strong enough

and now lives with this burden on his back

for his entire life,

he will always have tree number twos death on his back.

tree number one will never give up

but we all know it wont do much.

i walked away from this saddening scene

and i thought to myself.

i just cant stop falling.

is that a bee?

2009-07-02T09:42:00.002-04:00

this july night is awfully cold

the summer creeping, making a move so bold

lest it be known to all that if truth be told

if you could save me, this hand i would fold

suicide is cowardly

suicide denotes bravery

and if i could remember clearly

i was born running away, you see?

there is one of two ways i like to stay warm

adding another cut to this hideous swarm

or ill drink myself stupid reciting my blame

but apparently all i can muster is slurring your name

this isnt fair

it never was

dont even try to pretend

im so scared

im just buzzed

i just need my friends.

swinging is so 70's

2009-07-02T09:39:00.002-04:00

stay low, swing hard, swing heavy

im down, you start, im not ready

lets roll, dont stop, were almost there

lets just stop, well just forget, what our bodies feel like

we feel this now but we wont for long

we live in this town but we dont belong

dont call me by my first name

it wont help my notorious fame

im the lowest of the low

well not quite but you get the idea

im synonomous with sketchy

im just not a good kid

fuck authority, fuck what you know about me

everything you every heard about me is true

it doesent matter if its true or not

i probably did it

im a rock and roll punk who loves his drugs

ive been sober for awhile i think thats gonna change

im now who i am if i can think straight

im punch drunk in love with my old lifestyle

i was who im not anymore

art from the shadows and out like a light

now i cant fall asleep

i want the shadows to come back

ill give you a reason not to love me.

it all come back to this harlequined relation

2009-07-02T09:32:00.002-04:00

i sit here bumbed and dulled

this pill erasing all the pain thats left

i left myself half but i go back for more im fucked

still the only thing that makes sens is that last treble cleft

im beside myself with pity and contempt

this line right here is nothing but a sad attempt

to free myself from this spell you have cast

set fire to the mast, i cant forget my past

the wolves are back and they bite at my heels

they dont understand what it is to feel or how to deal

i dont want to kneel, i want to know this is real

this feeling is sureal this pill quickly becomes my last meal

i hate to dissapoint you yet again

one after another its all a dead end

there just none of my honor left to defend

so i do what you want, like its my idea, i pretend

my thoughts are turning dull callous and cold

i gotta hold on to this idea lest i behold

an ideal of what is supposed to be

according to mee im supposed to be free

im a rogue angel fallen from grace

not knowing where, my sadness to displace

so i hold it all in until i commit my sin

then im stuck here swimming trying to break even.

we gotta stay high

2009-06-30T14:37:00.002-04:00

if i am dreaming, then i am always alone, so this shouldnt feel any different.

if i feel more alone, maybe i am awake after all

just how alone can a man who sees his neighbor 200 feet away get?

how deep in yourself are you if you still here people sneeze?

its weird how the same scenery can change from one moment to the other

just keep your thoughts away from me and you will be fine

just keep my existence out of your mind

youll start to find it easy not to care

if im even there.

Kamp philosophy

2009-06-30T14:35:00.001-04:00

As charisnatic as the clouds blocking the sun eagerly begging for time.

as comfertable as rocks underwater on the shallow coast

as brave as the bee who knows his own fate when stinging

as confusing as overlapping words scribbled on a page

as misplaced as a flutter fo snow on an august day

as abrupt as the sun breaking loose from its morning threshhold, to when the moon conquers the sky

as odd as gas exploding in violent fleurescent storms

is as strong as my love for her.

its all about me.

2009-06-30T12:06:00.003-04:00

i told you it was alright

i told you not to cry

i told you to scream out

your last fucking goodbye

i told you this wouldnt hurt

i told you this would be over soon

i told you i loved you

i told you fucking lies.

ill watch you burn you bitch

ill watch as you collapse

ill watch your clothes melt off.

this is for your relapse.

you said never again

i fucking believed you

you said he was just a friend

ill stab you right through!

you said you knew

how i felt today

i found out you blew

his cock every possible way.

burn bitch burn

its now your turn

to feel this pain

in this fiery melting rain.

everyone you say?

2009-06-30T11:38:00.003-04:00

i've recently learned

were all fucked in the head

one way or another

we sometimes wish we were dead.

everyones got a stroy to tell

about one time when they fell

and did something they might regret

most of the times it something they will not let go.

sometimes we think were the worst off.

that our lives are fucked beyong repair.

our looks are the worse for wear

but we need to remember

somebody does care.

maybe it matters to you or not

that someone cares about what you got

somebody wants to help you everytime you fall

someone who will help you crawl.

they wont force you to stand and fight.

theyll listen to your pathetic plight.

they'll hear about all your insecurities.

sometimes its hard to realise we have these people all around us.

and sometimes we just dont fucking care.

its hard to care when you cant stop the bleeding.

when you cant keep that razor away.

its hard to imagine any sense of relief.

when you keep cutting into your grief.

or do you drink until you cant remember?

because its so much easier to say you dont care when you cant remember why you cared in the first place.

Helena

2009-06-21T16:01:00.001-04:00

WARNING: this story sucks

I don=t know why, but tonight seemed like a good night to go out. So I grabbed my purse, put on some comfy shoes and walked out the door. My feet led me to the church, I don=t know why, but I never questioned wherever I ended up, I like to think im here for a reason. I walked in and sat down at the back in a seat close to the door. One of the first things to catch my attention was the man standing up front beside the priest. He was handsome with a very intelligent look on his face. Then, as if reading my thoughts he turned and his eyes found mine seconds later. I kept staring out of shock before I put my head down in embarrassment. Out of my peripheral vision I could see that he was still looking at me. Knowing this I decided to apply some lip gloss a little provocatively to make myself more appealing. I wouldn=t mind going home with him though, I raised my head and saw he had one eyebrow raised questionably. I gave him a very affirming look, letting him know exactly what my intentions were, then nodded my head towards the door. He looked at me and nodded a tiny bit. As I got up to walk out the pastor was saying how this night couldn=t be possible if it wasn=t for the man beside him, his name was Dominic. It suited him.

I went outside with one last glance in his direction, and went outside to wait., I saw him come out as I was about to walk down an alley that headed in the direction of my apartment. I didn=t see if he was coming or not when I walked down the alley. I kept walking down the alley progressively slower, waiting for him to catch up. After a little while longer I heard a gunshot echoed behind me. I figured it was time to go home before the owner of the gun decided to come down this way. Dominic could wait.

I got home and quickly went to bed I didn=t realize how tired I was. I woke to the sound of a stressed alarm and realized I had slept in. I scrambled up and shut off the alarm, then threw on the clothes that were closest to me, and ran out the door. I had an important meeting that I was already late for. I ran out to my car and set out for my office building. As I sped down the two lane highway, I realized just how slow the car in front of me was going, if I was going to get to the meeting before it ended I had to pass this car. I turned on my signal lights and went into the next lane.

Everything happened so quickly, the first thing I noticed was the front end of a car, racing down the highway towards me. Then I went spinning off the road and was being thrown around in the front seat as I slid down the side of the road. Both cars were still screeching when I came into a sudden stop because of a big tree. Once I got my bearings I realized the other car had pinned me to the tree. The impact of both the collisions left me unable to move, and left me barely breathing. I tried to move my legs, but a piece of twisted metal had fixed itself into my right leg. The blood was starting to flow freely, I could even feel the warm feeling pouring down from my mouth. That=s when I realized how potent the smell of gasoline was inside the car. Until smoke starting to filter in, I hadn=t realized I was trapped inside of a car about to erupt in flames.

I started to screaming for help, looking frantically for the driver of the other vehicle.

AHelp me!@ I cried out ACan you hear me? Are you near me?@

Then I saw him staring wide eyed at me and the quickly developing flames. He had no intention of helping me. His face had that same intelligent look to it as doms. And before I knew it I was falling in love with the man, this man that refused to help me.

AIf you carry on this way...@ I started to whisper

AThings are better if I stay@ He shouted suddenly

AI cant help you, the fire is too out of control.@ he continued

Until then I hadn=t realized how warm it was. My skin was burning and could feel the flames licking at me. I continued to scream in pain as this man watched me die. He was shouting something to me. I didn=t know why but the only thing I could think to reply was AMy name is Helena!@

Legend of the Warming

2009-06-21T15:59:00.000-04:00

NOTE: this is a legen/myth i wrote for anthropology class in gr 11

The gods created our world many, many years ago with one question in mind. What does it mean to be mortal? After the question was answered the Gods were amazed and granted the mortal race on the planet to continue to live there in peace on one condition. They had to prove their mortality once every 50 years. One child every 50 years unknowingly becomes the focus of the Gods, this child is put through 3 tests and if he fails any of them, the world will perish; throughout the trials the world will become increasingly cold, warm and violent. Once they are finished the world will go back into a state of peace and calm. The first recorded Legend of the Warming was written approx. 1500 B.C.

The world was in turmoil, the seas had become fevered with Hurricanes, and the skies fraught with lightning. The air grew warmer every summer, and colder every winter. The winds continued to grow stronger, and the lakes continued to dry up. The trees and the animals continued to grow weaker, and disease scoured the earth. These strange weather occurrences began on Servius’s 12^th birthday when he went walking by the dark woods and heard some screaming coming from the dark forest. His father had told him spirits dwelled in this forest and he should never enter it himself, but he summoned up all his courage and ran in to aid whoever belonged to the voice. Soon he encountered one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen. Servius confident because of his new age, decided to approach the women. The closer he got to the woman the uglier and more hunched over she became. When he was right in front of her, he asked the old lady what was wrong. She told him she had become lost and he must help her return home. Servius had always been taught respect for elders so he complied and walked her out of the forest and to her house. Once at the old woman’s house, Servius noticed she looked a little younger, and stood a little taller. The woman asked Servius to return to her house every day on his birthday until she died, she was such a lonely old woman.

One year later Servius returned to her house, and noticed she looked even younger and stood more upright than the year before she even had less wrinkles. They spent the entire day together until the sun went down. Servius told the woman that his father needed him home before dark, but he promised he would come back again. Servius returned unannounced to her house a few months later, and to his surprise she had become younger again, even gaining physical aspects of a younger woman with her more pronounced bosom. Servius’s Appearances became more and more frequent until his 16^th birthday, when she had the figure of a 16 year old girl. When she opened the door, it was obvious they were in love, and when he realized that if he left her, the next time he would see her she might become younger still. So he decided to never leave her, and with that final thought he kissed her. For 3 years they never left each others sights, when he finally did leave even for a moment she had not gotten any younger, she just seemed more beautiful to him. Servius had passed the first task, he had fallen in love.

For many years Servius and his wife had lived together but they had never conceived any children. When she suddenly became pregnant he became suspicious, one day he decided to follow his spouse to the local town, in town she had walked to a house and knocked at the door, a man answered and let her in. Servius knew she must be sleeping with this man, and in his fury broke down the door and stormed into the bedroom; there he saw this man and his wife making love. Servius pulled a dagger from his blade and approached the frightened couple. He turned to his wife and asked why she had done this to him? She replied she didn’t mean to it just happened. Servius turned to the man and asked how he could involve himself with a married woman. The man asked Servius if he loved his wife. Servius replied “Of course I do!” the man then said to Servius “Then you know how I feel about her.” Servius thought about it and re-sheathed his dagger and wished them both a happy life. Servius had passed the second task; he has understood and has forgiven.

Years passed and all Servius could think of was his lost wife, he did not go out with other girls, and hardly talked to anyone. When one day the man he had caught in bed with his wife appeared at the door. Servius asked him what he was doing here. The man replied that the gods had taken his wife and are going to kill her; they said only the man who truly loves her can rescue her. The man explained that if he were in Servius’s situation he would have killed him, but since Servius had loved his wife enough to let her go, he decided Servius should be the one to rescue her. Servius set out for the mountain range the man had told him about. He walked for days until he reached the summit, at the top of the mountain were 2 women, one old hunched over woman who has been tied to a tree, and a beautiful young women holding a silver sword at the neck of the old lady. Servius instantly recognized the old lady as his wife when he had first met her years ago. The second woman was the Goddess of choice. He approached the goddess and demanded that she return his wife. The Goddess asked Servius if he would rather have this old wrinkled lady or her, a young beautiful Goddess. Without hesitation Servius had said the name of his wife. Outraged the Goddess then asked him if he understood death. Servius replied that he did. The Goddess asked him what death meant. Servius replied

“Death is the end of a journey, be it a finished or interrupted journey.”

The goddess asked Servius if he had the choice of taking his own life in order to let his wife return to he new lover, and her younger form, or taking the life of this old lady in exchange for his immortality and marriage to the Goddess. Servius turned to his wife and asked her only one question “Were you happy with him?”

She replied with a nod.

Servius turned to the Goddess and told her. “Take this life, im right here, stay awhile and breath me in.”

The Goddess was confused about his meaning at first then realized; he understood his journey was to be interrupted. The Goddess swung her sword and cut off the head of Servius.

Servius had passed the third task, he had understood his own mortality.

The second his head left his shoulders, the seas of the world calmed, the winds died, the livestock multiplied and prospered the sky was no longer lit with lightning. Order had been restored

Random Lyrics

2009-06-21T15:56:00.000-04:00

This is the sound of a deserted mind

empty, (sublime)

cold, (divine)

this is the habit i dont want to break

everything i lose im ready to re-make

everything thats healed is just going to re-break

this is just too much to fake

Listen to this ferocity

commit this attrocity

become a monstrosity

become one wiht society

This is the sound of angry static

the sound of a love-automatic

the sound of a pain dynamic

but not the act of a panic

What did you do to the air

to let out this public scare

This just is not fair

II)

keep your eyes at the same level as mine

keep your hand placed firmly in mine

keep your heart beating fast against mine

keep your lips moving against mine

keep your tongue rolling against mine

keep this our secret

this wont last forever

soon you wont even ever

remember how i said 'forever'

and now your saying 'never ever'

Enough is Enough

2009-06-20T14:58:00.003-04:00

NOTE: this story is dedicated to katerina power, my biggest fan.

"those people in the movies are retarded!" jeff told the people around him for the fourth time.

jeff took a drag from his joint before continuing.

"They do everything wrong!"

jeff stopped for a momemt.

"Wait a minute!" he exclaimed "You're not strangers!"

"No dug jeff we've been talking to you all night." cindy told him

"Well soooooorry cindyyyyyy." said jeff "Anyway what was i talking about?"

"How you would have done things differently if you were in a horror movie." jordan told him

"Oh, yes well...you see, i keep a knife on me at all times, just incase of attack! upstairs in my room though...is my equipment. if some guy tried to fuck my party up, hed be one sorry son of a bitch. i've got some rope, a gun, baseball bat, and a few trinkets."

"Jeff you are fucked in the ehad big time!" cindy laughed

"OH you'll see, dont even worry about it if im around!"

just then the 3 of them heard a scream from outside

"That sounds alot like alexa..." jordan said ominously

"what the fuck!" screamed cindy

"Alexa and mike went to the forest, im sure there just being goofs." jordan told her

"I'll check it out just incase" jeff said as he headed upstairs.

Jeff came back down and handed jordan a gun.

"Just in case." he said

Jordan just nodded.

Jeff ran outside towards the sound of the scream, when he though he was near he started to approach slowly. Jeff saw exactly what he thought he would.

Alexa and mike were dead, there bodies hanging from the trees. Just then jeff heard gunshots and screams from the house. then it was all quite. jeff knew his friends had jsut been murdered. so he decided to get to work.

jeff ran halfway back to his house and stopped between two trees and set up a trip wire with his razor wire that he kept in his bag. after he was done setting it up, he yelled out.

"OH NO! everyone is dead, what will i ever do!?!?!"

he quickly hid behind some nearby trees.

jeff soon heard the brush rustling as someone raced towards his voice.

they stranger let out a huff of air as he trippe don the razor wire cutting his shins deeply.

the starnger started to scream in pain, when jeff came out form behind a tree and brought the bat up over his head, bringing it down on the strangers face, knocking him out.

when the starnger woke up, he was bandaged, and tied to a tree.

"What the fu-" he tried to say before jeff punched him in the stomach

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" screamed jeff as he hit him again.

"who the fuck do you think you are? coming to my party and killing my friends? im gonna teach you a science lesson, do you know how many bones are in your body?"

"Why are yo-" the stranger was interupted agian

"ANSWER THE QUESTION!" jeff said as he struck him in the face.

"NO i dont!" yelled the stranger

"Well let us find out" jeff said

"How?" asked the stranger

"Im going to break every bone in your body!"

jeff swung the bat at the strangers feet over and over, cracking every bone in his feet.

"I hope your keeping track because im not." jeff told him

jeff swung the bat at the strangers feet again, breaking more and more bones.

"Ok i think i got them all, lets move on to the legs now!" jeff told him very enthusiastically.

the stranger screamed out in pain as jeff broke his shins, the man passed out from the pain

"Ill just wait until you wake up before i continue."

jeff told the unconciouse stranger while smiling.

Homesick the play By: Justin Pulfer

2009-06-16T21:30:00.000-04:00

Homesick

The Play

Characters:

Craigery Trousse

May Baume

Larry – Craigery’s best friend

Autumn – May’s Friend

Act 1:

Scene 1:

[Craig and Larry are in the guys’ washroom, they take turns guarding the door so that the other can crush pills and sniff them].

They talk about a party and how it’s not exactly their crowd but it should still be fun. May’s name pops up,

[bell rings and they both exit.]

Scene 2:

[May, and Autumn are in the girls change room getting changed after gym class, the last girls walks out leaving them alone.]

They talk about how autumn cousin has invited them to a party. They debate about doing e for the first time. They agree to do e but no drinking; Larry’s name comes up in conversation.

[Bell rings and they exit.]

Scene 3:

[May, and Autumn are at May’s house getting ready for the party.]

Discussing boys who will be there, after discussing Larry and Craigery they leave for the party.

Scene 4:

[Craigery enters his room with wet hair and a towel. He puts on his clothes and then answers his cell phone],

Larry is outside. Craigery invites him up. They make last minute preparations.

[They both take e and go to the party.]

Act 2:

Scene 1:

[The party is large with pop punk music playing; everyone is dancing, talking and partying. Some people are sitting. May + Friends arrive,]

Autumn’s cousin greets them.

[They walk to the far side of the party]

. After a bit of talking, Craigery and Larry arrive. They talk to all the party guests.

[Craig keeps looking back at may and she keeps looking back at him.]

Larry asks why they keep looking back. Craigery + May say the don’t know why. At the same time they say they think the e is kicking in.

[then they look at each other and make eye contact]

[everyone in the room except may and Craigery move down stage against the wall

they walk towards each other and the song changes to something upbeat. They start dancing after a few moments they walk towards and into a bedroom.

When may and Craig enter bedroom, partiers come up stage and spread back out.]

Scene 2:

[They walk/kiss towards the bed. The end up lying down and making out. Craig starts to take off his shirt.]

May: before you do that, I need to know one thing.

Craig: what’s that?

May: your name

Craig: im Craigery Trousse

May: Well Craigery, I am May Baume, nice to meet you

[They keep kissing]

Scene 3:

[may and Craig are lying down underneath the covers; Larry walks in on them, quickly followed by autumn. May is embarrassed, gets dressed and runs out of the room]

Larry: What’s with her?

Autumn: oh…I think she’s just kind of surprised…she doesn’t really do this often

[Craig gets up and gets dressed, he writes something on a piece of paper and hands it to autumn]

Craig: here this is for may, it’s my phone number, and can you get here to call me?

Autumn: sure whatever you want chief

[Craig and Larry exit, autumn opens the note and reads it, then putting it into her pocket then exiting]

Scene 4:

[autumn and may are sitting around Mays room]

they discuss the party

[autumn hands may Craigery’s’ phone number]

they debate about calling him

[may ends up calling him and they agree to meet at the local coffee shop.]

[exit autumn and may]

Scene 5:

[Craig is sitting at a table at the coffee shop, enter may]

they talk about the party the night before and what happened

may explains that she doesn’t do drugs often, but the way that Craig made her feel, she wants that all the time, Craig tells her that he can give her that, there is a whole world of experiences to discover. May tells him that is all she wants, is to feel real.

Craig: baby, im gonna make you feel alive

[Fade out]

Act 3:

Scene 1:

[Larry and Craig are sitting around]

they talk about how Craig’s parents are going away for a week and how they should have a get together.

[Craig calls may]

Craig asks may if she and autumn want to come over, over night all next weekend

[Craig hangs up]

Craig and Larry talk about what drugs they should do, they both agree on lsd

[Fade out]

Scene 2:

[Craig, Larry and may are in a washroom at school, taking turn crushing things, and sniffing them]

Craig talks about the philosophy of feelings.

[bell rings and Larry exits]

may asks Craig to stay,

[they start making out, leaving the drugs on the counter]

[a male teacher walks in]

Teacher: what are yo-

[Craig throws his sweater over the head of the teacher, grabs the drugs in one hand, May’s in the other and runs out of the washroom]

[fade out]

Scene 3:

[may and Craig run outside to the park]

the talk about how close of a cal that was

Craig tells may they need to slow down she has jumped into this lifestyle too quickly, and is on a slippery slope. May tells him that she needs to feel this way, it’s the only time she feels real.

[Craig pulls out a joint and lights it]

Craig: alright, we can keep doing what were doing

[passes the joint to may]

[fade out]

Scene 4:

[Larry, Craig, may and autumn are sitting in Craig’s room]

they talk about how Craig’s parents are gone, and how much lsd they want to take.

[they take there hits]

[smoke machine fills room with smoke]

[smoke dissipates]

they have a huge conversation about living in the moment.

May wants to smoke more, but everyone is very hesitant

[Craig decides to roll another and smoke it with her.]

As he lights it he says

‘well do some drugs, well fall in love, and get fucked up while the world just shrugs’

[fade out]

Scene 5:

[may and Craig are sleeping in the same bed, Larry knocks at the door]

Craig: come in

Larry comes in and tells them about hoe autumn left.

May is upset and gives autumn a call

[Larry and Craig exit]

may has a conversation with autumn about how she’s being stupid, there learning to live, she shouldn’t be such a square.

May: well maybe I only want to be friends with people who understand me

[may hangs up the phone]

[fade out]

Act 4

Scene 1:

[may and Craig are in a park lying down and smoking]

they talk about how Larry and autumn have kind of abandoned them, but they don’t need them, they don’t need anyone.

[Craig rolls over until he is kind of on top of may]

he tells her what he is really afraid of, he tells her how he believes he is in a coma or in some dream, and how nothing ever feels real unless he is high on something, he tells her that is what he imagines death would be like. One instantaneous lsd trip.

May asks why he is telling her this

Craig: im not perfect, I don’t have all the answers. Im falling in love with you, and I don’t want you to fall in love with me on some premise that I know everything. I know what I know and not a bit more. Im not invincible, im just as fragile as you.

[May takes a drag from the smoke]

May: I love you too

[fade out]

Scene 2:

[May and Craig are sitting in the principles office with the principle]

The principle talks about how they have been skipping class all the time, and he knows that they are skipping to do drugs.

May and Craig tell there principle, that no offense but they just don’t care, nothing matters, least of all standardized learning.

The principle tells them he has nothing he can do but expel them.

May and Craig tell him that is fine with them

[they stand up and exit]

[fade out]

Scene 3:

[Craig and may are sitting around his room smoking]

Craig tells her about how he hates being human, and how he hates living.

May tells him that she is ready to go to the end with him.

Craig tells her that he thinks if he were to kill himself, he would wake up in a hospital bed

May tells him there is only one way to find out.

[fade out]

Scene 4:

[Craig and may are both sitting in his room each of them smoking a joint]

Craig and may are laughing and talking about random chit chat.

Both of them mention their joint went out

Craig: do you think that’s a sign?

May: I do

[Craig gets up and gets his gun from his drawer and sits back down next to may]

Craig: so…do you want me to do you first?

[may nods]

[Craig raises the gun to her head, and then lowers it]

may: what are you doi-

[Craig interrupts her mid sentence when he élans in and kisses her, he kisses her passionately, after he is done kissing her, he tells her he loves her, and raises the gun to shoot her]

[he pulls the trigger, and May’s body slumps down, he proceeds to bring the gun to his head, and without a word pull the trigger]

[fade out]

Act 5

[it is Craig’s and Mays funeral, the only people there are Craig’s and Mays parents as well as Larry.]

Craig and Mays parents walk up to the caskets, and complain about how they didn’t understand, and they wish the could have helped somehow.

[exit Craig and mays parents]

[Larry walks up to the caskets]

Larry: we both knew it would happen eventually

[fade out]

FIN

2009-06-08T18:00:00.002-04:00

im tired of the way you make me feel.

not even you.

but your memory

even your friends.

sometimes im getting better.

i feel like life is getting better.

than one person will say a sentence to me.

and it all comes undone.

please just fuck right off.

your memory is losing its taste.

you'r not the angel i once thought you were.

now your merely a ghost.

and its not even your fault

nobody is to blame.

my emotions are just out of whack

blame this disorder for the monster it's created.

im scared of myself.

i dont know what ill do next.

and i dont even care.

what happens to me next.

i just want this to stop.

i dont want to be like this anymore.

i cant believe i got just what i wanted.

i mean, im not really surprised, i usually do.

Liberation

2009-06-04T20:38:00.002-04:00

her chest flames

her heart pains

from your violent knife games

you told me i wasent the one

i said "well lets be honest, both of us got what we wanted, now its time to show your way out"

you armed yourself at the kitchen counter

as you screamed you stabbed her

"Dont look so suprised"

as she crawled across the floor

making her way towards the door.

in her ear you shouted more

"i dont think im as sorry as you think i am"

as we continue this tragic story

as he stabbed he stabbed his glory

the peaceful house turned dark and gory

the blood clung to the painting with haste

that boy's got exquisite taste.

love is what we lost

we had a connection

this feeling has gone too far

and killed two birds with one stone

a terrible last song

you sang so sweet.

"if i ever see you again

inside of this godles heaven

you'll sleep in hell"

she lays like a brocken clock

her hands dont turn anymore

what came next to him was quite a shock

the fact that he ahd loved her more

when the cops came he put his hands behind his head

when asked why he killed her this is what he said

"i got a message from above, he told me to do it. i did it for love!"

Frontiers

2009-03-31T21:07:00.002-04:00

This thins shes got me feeling, is making me feel unique

every time i see here, i forget how to speak

im falling deeper and deeper

but i can't see where im falling

i haven't hit the ground, but i'm already sprawling

I'm a mixtape for every occasion

a song for everything ive been chasin'

a perfect playlist for every situation

ill tear you apart and put you back together

we may just be the pieces

but we still need to fit

even if only for a bit

sont you come fit with me?

this is where we stop trying

and just start to be

let the pieces fall where they may

and stop worrying if everything will stay

This is the end of the beggining for us

there's nothing that we are missing

there is nothing more that we need

and no were not special dont ever think we ever were.

that why most night we dont stop when we slur

until were taken apart and put back in the box

weve got it all bottled up, but we havent stopped drinking.

we all start off as starngers hoping to be more

but well wind up puked out wasted on the floor

were shipwrecking all over the shore

and were driven by the sensation of bore.

im the last of the dancefloor romantics

you'll fall in love with my innocent antics

i'll orchestrate our body like a symphony

ill let you know hot to see blindly.

but i know your gonna get bored

when you realize i dont know how to change

you'll dance to this beat i call my shame

and you'll insist i have no one else to blame.

it's harder than anything else

to feel alone when im not home

ill start to miss you when your around

because i see your starting to change.

as we float down the river i tossed in my paddle

im leaving where were headed up to you

i lay in this bed and pray for my savior

hopefully she realized how much i missed her

i swear i once tried to change

all i did was end up more deranged

now that im home whos gonna rescue me

lord only knows how many times i tried myself

i know how you feel when you say you'r hurting

but that tone of desolation never stopped the flirting

ill trust that you'r honest im quite easily a fool

but i guess nobody said this wouldnt be cruel

lets skip this conversation and just keep making more fuel

im constantly drinking myself into a new metaphor

one that your memory is responsible for

ill lease you my soul out like a cheap whore

because nothing seems to fit anymore

i force the pieces together trying to fit

and it works for now, but really thats it.

realistically that all i should hope for

im still young but stability is still what i want more

you said no just like i knew it would be

i felt your skin against mine and somehow became free

i dont need anything more right now

i dont think i will for quite awhile

but if you need something else than thats ok

im still here, the same as when you loved me.

the tempest

2009-03-25T11:50:00.001-04:00

shapes have lsot all meaning

their original purpose is now fleeting

they remain as a form of constriction

if i slur correct my diction

because iw rite my plight for you to notice

we are the undesirable

why am i so undesirable

...put your funnel in my tunnel

teeth the size of piano keys

2009-03-25T11:48:00.001-04:00

Heartbreak is like riding a bike

once you fall off you gotta get right back on

until you keep riding and it falls apart

the bike then tell you to please stop calling

and it starts giving back everything you left at its house

until your left alone wondering

"what happened to my bike."

Lonely writers

2009-03-25T11:44:00.001-04:00

the music haunts

each note digging

burying itself within me

i look around and see desolation

mixed with a pinch of desperation

and a dash of exasperation

masks dont hide who i am

they portray who i am

I'm simply remarking on the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.

but all of these things

cannot begin to understand

nor do they seem to want to

happily perplexed by their own existence

they dwell in isolation

never understandin, never wanting to.

a lack of understanding seems like an excuse

as to why lonely nights give birth

to lonely writers

oct 5th 2008

2009-03-25T11:43:00.001-04:00

i smile more

love more

depressed no more

i cry less

ignore less

hate less

complain no less

theres no more hint of the shatters in my eyes

you see

they see

exactly what i want them to see

pretending im fine

just one more thing

i've gotten better

Oh comely

2009-03-25T11:40:00.002-04:00

i sat in the pews facing the confessional booth. i sat there for an hour before the priest walked in.

By the time the priest closed the door and sat down i opened the door beside him and entered.

"how long since your last confession?" he asked

"I am not here to confess."

"Then why are you here?"

"I came to ask you a question father."

"Go ahead my son."

"How long since your last confession?"

the priest paused before answering

"Just yesterday, why?"

"Have you sinned since?"

"No i have not."

i pulled out my gun and shot once

"I hope you were telling the truth."

repetition is what i do best

2009-03-25T11:36:00.002-04:00

everything is so obscure, faint and pointless

this twin size bed feels so empty with only one person

i feel this cold but just ignore it

the same way i ignore my hunger

we all know its there

but pretend not to notice

every kiss you give me

is just another slap in the face

another memory i can never erase.

this is just on big lifetime race

to see whos the first to be a disgrace

who will be the first to give in

not even making it to the end

will it be jenny

who had one bottle too many

or will it be fred, who gave himself a shot through the head.

was it the soon to be groom

deciding never to leave his room

or the soon to be bride

who went for one lethal ride

was it the expectant mother

with the upset significant other

or the expectant dad

who one night got a little too mad.

this isnt as easy as it looks: march 27th 2008

2009-03-25T11:33:00.002-04:00

my mind just keeps changing itself

one day the risk is worth it

the next im grasping to everything around me

its always the same answer

that does not reassure me

if you love me one week

but despise me the enxt

just wait for me to come back

let me into your world

just let me fall and drown in your world.

smoke what i smoke

rail what i rail

sleep where i sleep

ruin yourself with me

dont worry about tomorow

worry that were running out

of whatever wont let us remember what we were just doing

worry about when well get some more

but most of all

worry about me

13th march 2008

2009-03-25T11:31:00.000-04:00

the hospital bed is the simple concept i tread

never knwoing if im awake

or simply the walking dead

these thoguhts are my own

but this world may not

this paradox i live in

is one ill never fit in

i dont belong in this reality

i belong to the one where we are all awake

and none of sleep in the beds

some risks are too big to take

so here i lie never knwoing if ill wake.

Duality

2009-03-25T11:22:00.002-04:00

it's so painfully clear

that everything i fear

was not just losing you dear

but im losing my mind

and im biding my time

'till i can get outa here.

i'll forever shed just one more tear

this music is all i got to keep me going

if it were not for this beat my words just would not be flowing.

no matter how much i think, there is never any way of knowing.

how i'll hide these scars im afraid of showing.

we all have things were not proud of

but my guilt fits my like a glove

i'm donnie darko without the hallucination

so i spread my pain to this united nation.

so close your eyes

and embrace

and just fly

as you listen to my case.

Old Milwaukie Talkie .:REVISED:.

2009-03-07T10:40:00.001-05:00

NOTE: ive ommited a few details people thought to be unsavory. i havent changed much at all.

I just walked in from having a smoke when the phone started to ring. I kicked my shoes off and ran for the phone; I was expecting a call from my boss with my next assignment.

“Hello?” I asked picking up the phone.

“Are you satisfied with your life?” the voice answered

“Excuse me?”

“I asked if you were satisfied with you long distance service provider.”

“Oh sorry, yes I am satisfied. Thank you anyway.” I hung up.

I set the phone down and grabbed the remote to turn the stereo on. The sound of southern rock filled the house as I closed my eyes. It was starting to rain outside and the sky was grey. It really was just one of those days. It was too early to start making supper, and I wasn’t really hungry anyway. I didn’t feel like watching TV or a movie either. I decided to the only thing I really could do right now, was to get drunk. I walked into the kitchen and uncorked the oldest bottle of wine I had. I poured myself a glass and went back to sit down. I slowly emptied the glass, and found myself starting to sing along more often. I went back for a 2^nd glass, and 3^rd then a 5^th and then a 9^th and then I just brought the bottle with me. I turned the stereo off deciding that these harsh words were gonna have some negative drunken impact. So I turned the TV on and flipped through the channels. With some illusion of grandeur I settled on cirque de soleil. As I watched the contortionists twist there bodies around I thought to myself, what is the point of watching this? How does this further me in any way at all? I grabbed the remote and thrust it at the TV as I turned it off to increase the dramatic effect. I quickly turned the stereo back on and put on the heaviest song I could think of. I walked to the kitchen, uncorked a bottle of wine and slipped the stovetop burner on. I threw open the fridge and took out a red onion, I also grabbed some eggs and milk before closing the door. I put them all down on the counter and grabbed a frying pan. I opened the pantry and grabbed the olive oil, garlic powder and onion powder. I opened the olive oil and poured some into the pan. I flipped the picture frame resting on the counter so it was facing me. The picture in the frame was one of my ex girlfriend. I never got completely over her. Every couple minutes as I prepared my food, I would look over and see her smiling back at me, and I would smile back and just keep on doing what I was doing. I cut the onion up to the beat of the music, and threw it into the pan to fry. I decided to cut some green peppers too. I mixed in a dash of the wine to add a nice flavor, that’s what she always did. After the veggies were done to my liking, I put them aside. I put in a bit more olive oil, and put in the eggs I had whisked together. I watched the eggs sizzle, added the veggies, and at just the right time I flipped it. After I was satisfied with it I put it on a plate, turned off the burner, grabbed a fork and the picture frame and went back to sit down. I turned off the stereo in favor of a nice movie. I settled on our favorite movie.

I woke up with the phone ringing and my head pounding. I jumped up and picked it up.

“Hello”

“Hey it’s Mr. Sodo. Sorry about not getting in contact with you yesterday, but I just got the confirming details about half an hour ago. It’s a new company, the house they want is at 2927 Valeur drive.”

“When do they want this done by?”

“They want the whole package in about 4 days.”

“Okay, I’ll come in and get the key tomorrow.”

“Great, I’ll see you then.”

“Bye.”

I spent all day focusing on recovering from last nights drinking binge. I went to bed early, and got up early to go into work and get the key. Before I got into the car, I made sure to bring along my leather case, with all my instruments inside. When I got into Mr. Sodo’s office he was already there.

“Morning.”

“Morning boss”

“I just want to show you what you’re working with first.”

“They already have pictures?”

“Yeah, once you see them you’ll understand why they want you.”

I walked over to his desk and looked the photos over.

“Well, this should be fun.”

“Might want to go get started quickly.”

“You’re telling me.”

I left the office and headed back to my car. As I drove to the location I lit up a cigarette. I was mulling over how I was going to do this. It was old, poorly kept, abandoned, on a hill, creepy as anything. This was gonna be worth my paycheck. Valeur road was long, wooded and abandoned. I’m fairly certain that there’s only one house on this road. I drove down the road until I found the house and sure enough there it was, up on a hill, dilapidated, chipped white paint job. There was no way I could make this house seem sellable. I parked the car in the driveway, opened the trunk and got out my bag. I unzipped it and brought out my camera. I emptied out the memory, so I could take as many pictures as needed to make this place seem suitable. I walked up the steps, and already I didn’t like this assignment. I felt so uneasy. I turned the door knob, and stepped inside. Everything changed at once as soon as the door closed behind me.

I crumpled to the floor as a ringing sound erupted in my head. I couldn’t even hear myself scream. I writhed on the floor in complete and unmerciful pain. I rolled around; blinded by the immense pain when all at once, the pain and any memory of said pain disappeared. I opened my eyes and noticed I had rolled through the door way. I lay there gasping for breath unable to even contemplate what had just happened. I stood up, and like some kind of hallucination, I was in another body, and the house was furnished, and looked proper. I tried to go outside, but my body did not do what my will commanded it to. I walked around without knowing where I was going, or even trying to go anywhere. I went room to room, observing the patterns on the walls. Just as quickly as it happened, I was lying on the floor, just threw the doorway. I stood up, and looked around, everything looked the same aside from the state of disrepair from the…the what? Hallucination? I rubbed my eyes, as if that would dispel my memory of what just happened. I took out my camera from my holster, and walked the same path the body I was just in did. I took pictures of everything that body seemed to focus on. I felt like I was trying to write a story with my pictures.

I walked up the stairs, and I saw a man. I went over to this man, and hugged him as he pushed me away though. He started to yell at me, and to swear at me. I started to cry, to explain to him what happened. I asked him to sit on the bed. But he just got angrier. He started to hit me. He punched me in the jaw. I was helpless. I felt his knuckles dig into my face, blow after blow. I was on the floor, then he stopped. He called me pathetic, worthless, and useless.

I looked up from my viewfinder. Did that just happen? I felt my jaw, to see if there was anything swollen. It felt okay, but moments ago it was exploding in pain. I had felt the pain. It WAS real. I slumped to the floor, and looked down the hallway to where the stairs were. I felt compelled to make my way there. To try and see what happened next, I took an angled picture down the hallway. I got up, and made my way to the stairs, as I walked down the hallway, everything started to shift. The floor warped, and I stumbled blindly forward, repeating history. I stopped walking. My thoughts were becoming so clear, yet obscure. I turned into the next room as quickly as possible. There on the wall opposing me was a big screen, or maybe it was just the wall itself. It was counting down…3, 2, and 1. The door behind me slammed shut, but I was not alarmed. In front of me, the screen started to play a slideshow. A slideshow about me. The picture, there right now, was my first kiss ever. As the pictures flashed by, I realized they were pictures of every single time I had ever kissed somebody. After one of the pictures, a message flashed on reading “Do you even remember their names?” I tried to think, I knew some of their names, but definitely not all of them. I sat down, back against the door. There was a blanket on the floor, I hadn’t seen it earlier. But I never really looked around all that much. I wrapped the blanket around me, and huddled underneath it. I sat there staring, not daring to blink as images of my kisses flashed, faster and faster in front of my eyes. I felt so dirty, so incomplete, like I was trying to fill some void.

I got up from the floor, and as I sobbed I followed him down the stairs. I was so tired of the way he was treating me. He sat at the table and demanded I make him supper. I walked over to the pantry, and pulled out a large knife, I walked up behind him, and stabbed him in the neck. He threw himself to the floor, as his blood splashed onto the floor. He tried crawling away, but I kept stabbing him in the back as he screamed. Now he knew what it felt like to be helpless. To know pain at the hands of someone you love. I kept stabbing even after he stopped screaming.

I blinked, rapidly. These visions just kept happening. It was starting to become just a happening, not even a bother. I noticed the clip show had switched focus. Maybe it had gone through all of my kisses and sexual conduct. Now, it was showing every single toke or drag or haul I’ve ever had. No, that wasn’t it, every now and then, a pill will show itself, or a tab, or a line. This was just about my drugs. My habits kept flashing by, one after another. I don’t even remember doing most of these…now even my drinks have been added into the mix. I just thought to myself, why this is happening. This can’t be real. This does not exist, unless it exists purely within my mind. A trippy adventure through my sub conscious. Or am I trapped in some kind of alternate reality? Where what you fear most exists. Be it within yourself or outside the world. As I spaced out, I realized the pictures had switched focus once again. They were focused on.

I grabbed the knife still plunged in his back, and threw it into the sink. I was going to wash the blood off my hands, but I decided it seemed to fit on my hands. I walked upstairs with a fulfilled sense of discovery. I opened the closet in my room, and took out the prettied noose I had fashioned. I always knew I’d need it. I walked over to the banister and tied the end of it tightly, I had been practicing for a very long while, and I put the noose around my neck, and jumped over the railing. I watched my feet dangle as I slowly started to black out. Slow being the keyword. I could feel my lungs screaming.

I coughed up blood onto the floor in front of me as I sat down. That was weird. I felt it, I felt myself die, being hung. I reached in my bag and took out a smoke, and lit it. As I inhaled the smoke I looked up, and saw a clip show, of every drag of a smoke I’ve ever had. The pictures flew past, ridiculously quickly, but this seemed to last forever. I looked at my watch, and of course it had stopped. But hours must have gone by. When the screen suddenly turned to static. A video started to play…it was me and my exgirlfriend. I remember this night. This was the night my parents went out of town, and she came over. We were both still in high school. We didn’t go far, but when we were done, we didn’t put our clothes back on, we lay there, cuddling, and I could feel her skin against mine, her chest puffing in and out with every breath. I could feel all of this as I watched the screen. I stood up, and walked to the screen. I dropped the blanket along the way. I touched the screen, brushing her face; I remember this day so perfectly. It was my favorite memory of us. She moved herself so her lips were by my ear. It was barely audible, but I heard her tell me she loves me. That she always will.

“You fucking liar!” I screamed at the screen.

I punched the screen as hard as I could, but nothing happened. I punched it again, and again. Trying to break the screen, to end this image. I threw my fists blindly against the wall.

“The television screen is streaked with the blood smeared from your knuckles as you were trying to punch it out, but you underestimated its strength, or maybe you just weren’t trying hard enough.” The wall beside me stated

I looked at the wall, and although I could not see it physically speaking, I knew it was talking to me.

“Your perception of strength is only outweighed by that of my will, and the will of inner strength.” I exclaimed

“My perception is just that, it is no way a physical rendition of my mental attributions of my qualities.” he explained

“So you perceive that I have entered a physically futile battle against the television screen, but I remain the mental champion versus that pit of limitless information and disinformation. It is not the content that should be clarified, but the viewer who self clarifies.” I snapped

“So in either case, the question remains, what have you learned from your futile battle?” he asked

I stood for a moment pondering this question.

“I have learned who I am.” I answered.

“Who are you?” he prompted

“Hello my first name is distance, and I really don’t care if I never wake up again.”

I whispered.

I grabbed 4 cigarettes, and lit them all, I stuck one in my lips, I threw one in a corner, one on the blanket, and one at the wall. By the time I had finished my cigarette, the room around me was starting to burn.

Grade six poems lmfao

2009-02-25T17:00:00.004-05:00

i watch them all run around
like they have a purpose
a mission in life
something to live for
presoannly
i think theyre all stupid for thinking such things
thinking that after all their hardship
they will be rewarded
i used to think that way
used to think someone was looking out for me
taking my back
then i turned aroudn
i realized noone was there
no one was ever there
i was on my own
as usual
i watch the happy couples frolic around
hugging an kissing
as if evrything would be ok
but it wouldnt
half of them would break up within the year
a third would drift away an lose contact
a fourth would forget about each toher
perhaps
perhaps a fith would stay together forever
i dont like those odds

there was no way i could be rewarded
no way i would accept it
i would deny it an move on
like i always have
bottled up emotions
they arent as deliciouse as the sound
the need for violence
to break something
to feel the blood runing down my arm
is my nirvana
i want to see my blood course out of my body
my life force slipping away
to feel the pain no others have felt
is all i desire
if no one knows what ive gone through
if no one realizes what eats at my soul
if no one knew wha torture im enduring
my life would be fulfilled
i want to go on alone
i must train myself to let go of all i love
in this lesson is what i need
but i cant find the answer
i never could
it never came to me as it did to others
why is that?
is it a cruel joke?
evryone can be happy but me?
evryone can have a purposefull life but me?
evryone can find love and wealth an fame and fortune but me?
evryone can die an say now that was a life but me/
evryone can die happy but me?
evryone can have a sense of togetherness but me?
evryone can just sit by and let this all pass but me?

what is wrong with me?
im a dying of an internal disease
one that eats away at the soul
eats away until all that are left are the unhappy memories
theyre was a girl
she taught me how to be happy again
but i could never tell her how i felt
i still have the same feelings for her
but she wont get me
no one gets me
not even me

i look in the mirror an wonder
whos that looking at me
that kid with a smile on his face
a dream glimmering in his eyes
a dream that wouldnt die

my dream isnt dead
the only thing thats dead
is the one who dreamed it
the one who lives it is more real
more physical
feels pain
knows the risk of losing brothers, frineds ad family.
i dont want to leave all behind but feel i must
except for that one girl
the one girl who showed me its ok to be upset
the one that told me that if ur upset let it out
the one that i would be there for
the one i would always be there for
the one where i will always be there for
i wont let her down
we will leave together
we will go together
we will die together

what if she dies?
how could i go on?
knowing the only one i can honestly say i loved
is dead
not coming back
forever alone once more

back into my pit of self-absordintion
back where i tried so hard to fight back
the demons that will now consume my soul?
i know not now what i will do
i do not know what the fates have in store for me
all i know is
im ready

alas i told the "one" who showed me how to be happy
i showed her the poem
she dint understand
she dint see the pain behind my words
i now fear she is gone not the one i knew
the times have changed her an me
her for the better
her mind is now not subject to such dark illusions as min
but still.....
ill miss the times we comforted each other greatly
more than she will
by chance she will forget about me within the year
i dont like those odds
shes happy now i should be too
but something always has to drag my mood down
be it drugs, alcohol or whatever else
she seems untouchable

i now know what i did not
i am fragile
easy to brake
brittle
but still i get tossed around lik a play thing
perhaps i am
perhaps god has others like me under his gun
told to dance simply because he said so
so they comply
as have i
ive bent to fulfill his will
not my own
i seek acception for who i am
but cannopt find it
if i could choose
it would be to get the hell out of here
no matter the alternative
to leave behind my world
or perpetual darkess
seems like a bad idea
in the darkness i find comfort
i find emily
my kindred soul
parted from this world
we have not spoke
but when i see her
i understand
i understand why im here
why i live in fear of myself
why i live in fear of others
why i live in fear of death
why i live in fear

i see a red door an i want it painted black
black as my soul
black as the soul i used to have
the one that kept me from leuahgin at the unfortunate
no i dont care
other people misery is ammusing
as is mine to others
i take that in stride
but after
seeing what ive seen
feeling what ive felt
being who i am
i do not see my sadness as a handicap
more as a power
a hidden one
still hidden
rightfully unleashed or simply let out
but to what purpose
to remain empty
until i can once again let it out
after that accumulated time will i change?

im not ready
for what the fates have in store anymore
i fear my future
what will it hold
will she be there?
waiting for me?
telling me things are ok
things will always be ok
as long as she is around
will i be ok?
will i be there?
will i always be there?
will she always be there?

these answers
i dont want answered
not a single one
if someone told me
she would be there
id call them a liar
if someone told me
she wouldnt be there
id call them a liar
i might never find these things out
until they happen
but what then?
shes there?
shes not there?
what will i do on whatever path i follow?
will i find my others?
will i find another "one"
will she be there forever?
or will she leave?
will i leave her?
bring her down?
bring myself down further
into the pit again
for the demons to feast on me
not my soul
its already takin
but now my heart
do they tug on my heartstrings
like they were chords
bringing down more victims?
if so
bring them on
all of them
my heart is as empty as that glass
the glass that i used to pour myself some
some what?
will i finish that sentence?
admit i need a stiff drink time to time?
or if i did say that
would i be lying
i can no longer tell my facts and lies are
are..........disturbed
unorganized
all over the place

i listen to my music
my calming music
but is it truly calming?
with still these thoughts filtering in and out
in my heart out my mind
or the other way around?
which is wich any more?
i surly cannot tell
can you?
the end of this poems second part is near
but to what?
nothing that is

why cant i find peace?
i find fault with evrything
evrything i do
evrything anyone does
anything that happens at all
effects me
why is this so?
why am i writing?
letting this out?
i havent in the past
so why now?
did something in someone change me?
did I change me?
but when?
and how?
did i change after all?
i still repaet myself
over an over
it seems
the same message
lost in translation
i start it out
but its gets lost
so here it is

i dont know who i am
i used to be able to look on the brighter side
but now
i cannot
i do not know why
and might not ever know
never know any true joy
the joy of love
the joy of marriage
even the joy of raising children
all my dreams seem to be cut down
by one girl
who said shed come
but now
she is happy
who am i to take that away from her
somehting she must have worked hard for
buut what if she dint
what if it came naturally
did I bring her down
after all we havent talked in a while
an when we do
she seems happy
why cant i?
so i bring people down?
or do i bring myself down?
with my thoughts of pain and suffering

and here we go again
repetion
to try to
find myself?
but why!?
WHATS THE POINT!!!!
I'LL NEVER FIND MYSELF
ITS USELESS
ITS A FUTILE ATTEPMT TO REBUILD MYSELF
its useless........

thats it isnt it?
after all this the answer was as
simple as that?
then why did it take me so long to find it?
but whats usueless/
trying to make myself a better person?
trying to change?
being happy?
yes.....
its useless for me to be happy
whatever i do.....
somehting worse happens
i can be content but if
im evcer happy for too long
ill be depressed again
so what can i do?
let my life pass?
let it slip by me
right through my fingers?
out of my grasp
while i drown
in this cesspool
this cesspool of evil
evil known as justin
as i watch myself drown i realize
beuty is in the eye of the beholder
but happiness is in the mind
or is it?
if i think happy ill be happy?
hahaha
here i go again
so part three ends
with no part 4 on the way

II)

The smell of the rain
brings me back
to those memories we never had
of you and me
so alone but together
my arm around you
your arm around me
together we were free

i wake up from this dream
i wake from the constant thoughts of you
but i cant help
but feel this pain when i see you
your not mine never will be
your eyes are for another

i think of the things well never do
the things well never see
the things well never talk about...

i think of all the moments ill waste without you
all the moments i wont kiss you
all the moments i wont look into your eyes
and see you looking in mine

Better luck next time prince charming

2009-02-25T16:45:00.001-05:00

Time ticks with no sign of slowing
And like the earth we have no plans on growing
Little by little we're erroding this place
Slowly we corrode in this place
This is my two weeks notice

I've handed in my resignation
you all know im giving up
I've spent enough time listening to pursuation.
I just cannot keep up
But it doesent matter does it?...

...i dont know where this poem is leading
it no longer feels like its about myself
it no longer IS about myself
who am i portraying?
this certainly isnt me right now...

...one week later and i read this
i know who im portraying
it's just me
a sad, bleak me
one who wishes he wasent sober.

Romantic Rights

2009-02-25T16:44:00.004-05:00

We are told that practise makes perfect
How is it that we are supposed to interpret
That if at first we dont succeed
All we have to do is try, try again
Yet we still cant accomplish much of anything

Does this mean we should stop?
Try and get better at something else?
Something we dont want to do?
Something i dont want to follow through?

Shouldnt we do what we love?
Even when push comes to shove
But when all we love is then gone
What do we have left to carry on

Pick up the pace
yea im talking to you
Let's all dance to the beat of our shame
Till our shoes fill with blood
And all our hopes are just watching from the sidelines

I cant do it alone

2009-02-25T16:44:00.003-05:00

Let me cure you of this foolish obsession with love
I'll show you what good times are all about
We'll drink 'till our thoughts slur
And fill our lungs with thick smoke.

We'll give a toast to the full moon
The one hiding behind the sheet of clouds
We'll shout out ballads of those we've lost
And praise the ones we are sure to forget.

We'll drink to the resignation of love
As we write about what we will miss above
She'll miss the deep blue of the skies
I'll miss that shimmer in her eyes.

We raise our glasses high
Sealing our fate
I gave her one last night she wont remember
She gave me a look that will haunt me forever.

Paper Planes

2009-02-25T16:44:00.001-05:00

tonight was our night
everyones eyes were on us
and we shone so bright
like it was nobodies business

it was time for everyone to leave
we kept saying goodbye till it was just you and me
when the door closed we hit the bottle
moments later i hit the throttle

tonight was our night
nobody could stop us
the traffics lights shone o so bright
we ran reds like it was our business

two lans had turned to four
so we drank a little more
we realized that those were headlights
we prayed that we would be alright

the car spun and we didnt know why
we realized we just might die
you screamed, and i yelled
this uncertain fate that we both dwelled

the car then stopped
and i heard you cry
i heard our bones pop
we looked you and shy

we were headed for the infirmiry
i whispered 'Happy Anniversary

Back to Black

2009-02-24T19:31:00.002-05:00

As soon as i arrived, i could sense something was out of place. i took off my jacket and put it on the pile, then i realized what was missing.

"Who stole the fucking lamp?" i yelled over the loud racket of the partyers. i knew having a house party would be a bad idea. the sketchy druggies got invited, and in my living room, they were smoking crack, sniffing coke and shooting the h train.

I'm so fucking sick of this bullshit. i thought to myself, as i walked up the stairs and into my parents bedroom.

"Get the fuck out!" i yelled to the kids playing underneath the covers. they threw their clothes on and ran out of the room giggling. i opened my parents closet, moved osme things around and pulled out a shoebox. i lifted the lid of the box and revealed the silver gun inside, along with 3 clips. i took the gun out, loaded it, and turned the safety off. i kept the gun at my side as i walked out. i saw those two horny kids going at it again, and i raised the gun, and shot them each twice. screames rang out through the house as i walked down the stairs, firing on anyone i saw.

click click

the clip was empty, so i reloaded and shot at the kids scrambling through the door. they just kept dropping.

click click empty again

i loaded the last clip as i stepped outside and unleashed hell on the backs of my friends.

click click

"Why did you do it kid?" the officer asked me in the interogation room.

"They broke my fucking lamp!" i shouted back at him

Pulfers magic tollbooth

2009-02-20T23:27:00.004-05:00

lack America you make me sick.
obamas not god, hes just black and slick
listen to all this hate a spit.
get back grow up and learn to knit.

obamas not making things better.
hes just tightening the knot.
for now he seems real hot.
mr obama ima send you a letter.

mad jokes obama your the realdeal
youve turned america into a happymeal
all packaged and shiny, and full of function.
too bad bush stole the instructions.

obama for life is what we rep.
obama for life that dudes got pep.
obama for life, this is what you get,
with a nikka as yo president elect.

march on oh glorious leader.
your wife so tuff she act like nobody need her.
she look like no one to fuck with neither.

so go on do us a favor.
change this shit, america needs a new flavor.

and thats chocolate.

II)

I do not Exist, you painfully insist

says the martyr to those he resist.
the man now falls from grace
and knows not this place
cant even recognize his race.
there is one thing that he knew
no matter what, he stands taller than you.

i wear my heart on my sleeve.
this color of blood few have achieved.
if you wanna spit next then proceed
but if not, then watch my word limit exceed.

I make girls wetter than the life aquatic.
my name is synonymous with erotic.
when i walk i shake them tectonics.
my eyes can short circuit dem electronics.

keep your bi-focals on this star.
im more than willing to go too far.
when i walk i leave char.
those who follow me follow the heat.
they all asking me if they can feat.
i repel em like im usin deet.

the country is my playground
not this nation but that dirty ground.
fuck with me you will not be found.
i got a river thattl drown.

SO dont fuck with these bois all up in it.
ill leave you behind i dont give a shit.

III)

My motives are radical
my actions impractical.
you keeping up is impossible.
my skills are undeniable
my face is recognizable
these rhymes are not handicap accessible.
you have to play with a full deck to sit at the table.
listen to my words, this aint no fable.
im like hercules i clean those stables.
im no amputee my balance is stable.
if you dont watch out ima rob yo cradle.
i clean house like my name is mabel.
without rhymezone dot come you wouldnt be able.
to play these leagues that we enable.
pick up the pace no one wants to shamble
along in a run for some serious real life gamble
taste my beaker, everyone gets a free sample.
follow her lead, she be a good example.
now ima roll out in my lambo

Oh God...

2009-02-20T23:20:00.002-05:00

I must decline.

on how to define.

this frame of mind,

on how i am blind.

These actions i preform and condone.

Oh god i feel this in my bones.

I'll light the path that you have shown.

Your salvation is all that i have known.

I'm gonna ask for more of your help.

With this feeling i have felt.

I'll play the cards you have dealt,

and when this is over i will have knelt.

before your glory of giving me this will.

and giving me the items i need to become ill.

a hole in my soul they will soon fill.

i hear your commands and ill try to follow through

just tell me what you need me to do.

This feeling of God is now fleeting.

evil quickly comes and starts thieving

all those items that filled my void.

until my soul is freshly destroyed.

So i take one more tab to get you to come back

so show me the way back

you are my shepherd

i am in your flock

just tell me what you need me to do.

the hours i have left with you are too few.

Young Justin Moola Baby

2009-02-18T16:06:00.000-05:00

Ima young justin millionaire, reppin this scene widout a care, compare my hair, your impaired, i got a flare, without a scare, im the head chair, so dont come near me, they dont hear me but they scare me, they dont know me, im so needy.
yeah
im one for the little guy
i save the small french fry
dont even try
to tell me you eat meat
thats a nasty feat
i eat tofu as my treat
i mosh so hard
they call me the local bard
there aint nowhere that im barred
i dont need a guard
i use my shard
to discard
and then bombard
and then regard
cuz i got some serious disregard

mothafuckin im scene

I wear tight pants
cuz they gave me an emo grant
i dont give implants
i only preform transplants.
im the master of all chants
you all follow this rhyme like ants.

when you think justin think
just think dont blink
dont wink
dont sync
dont sink
you might want to rethink
fuck what youve heard
this is what your hearing.
this is what there feeling.

My metaphors are weak
just like how your futures bleak
ive been reppin all week
and i aint gonna stop
cuz i aint speakin greek
notice my technique
its not all that unique
you can catch me in mozambique
my life's already peaked.

I heard gods voice once
when he spoke
he said to take another toke
but dont smoke
dont do coke
life aint a joke
he said to not provoke
cuz if i did
he would evoke something good
and just as fast revoke
and if i did it again he would invoke
something worse
not a curse
something diverse
he mentioned reimburse

so i took that shit to heart
i played it smart
i wrote my art
i did my part
like a new start
but with that said apart
i did depart
from what he said
i didnt do coke i didnt smoke

i just took a different path
that lead to the same place
his words i did not embrace
this was just a disgrace
he lent me grace
and i threw it all out.
thats what this rhymes all about.
so i shout my doubt
and became devout.

Invisible

2009-02-15T19:07:00.002-05:00

Invisible
Until you show up
I stop and think
Lost in your eyes
I make my escape
Into the night
Right on your trail
Your never alone
I see you
Out of breath
And tear streaked
Cursing my name
I slowly approach
I know your upset
You don’t know that im here
You don’t know im listening
You spill out your guts
You tell the heavens how you feel
You ask god why?
Why did he take me away from you?

Everything creates an equal, and opposinf reaction.

2009-02-15T19:07:00.001-05:00

The rain fell onto the snowy road

She kept on racing along

Snow and water meld as she rode

Into a sheet of black ice

Her lack of winter tires

Her speedy sensation

To reach the one she desires

Send the car spinning out

The speeding, spinning, moving car

Approaches the next lane

And hits the father

On the way home to his wife

The two cars have now collide

Metal wrapped around metal

This would not be a free ride

It will cost them both their lives

Their sufferings not yet over

They fly to the guard rails

And sail over cliffs the size of Dover

And reach the ground in a great hurry

Their breathing has not yet stopped

They rest at the bottom battered and torn

In a scene that could have only been photo shopped

The cars have started to flame

They were trapped on the inside

And they screamed for an end

With the ghost standing beside

They stood and watched the two of them die

Happy birthday

2009-02-15T18:27:00.002-05:00

today is going to be just like any other for you.

someone youll never know will just look right through

theyll never know that today you had something to do.

maybe you'll find something new.

or somebody you once knew.

but today your just one year closer to being cold and blue.

but this wish is much long overdue.

that no one loves you is ever so untrue.

to too many people you are their glue.

they hold on to you, when things get hard for them too.

one more than one occasion you can construe.

some meaning they once have lost, is making its second debut.

because those words that you choose to say, you may think its little, but the meaning grew.

into,

something so comprehensible, everyone knows that its true.

these words that gave everybody a clue,

into themselves and into you, an ideal to pursue.

conor oberst you are such a brilliant hue.

one to which all the crowds drew.

because you understood them, with the words you drew.

you opened the window and out the flew.

but there always those few.

who refuse to said adieu.

those people that care about who.

you are, and how you are making out, just knowing you im sure would renew.

their beliefs and their faith in others and themselves all on cue.

so happy birthday mr oberst. happy birthday to you

So come back, I am waiting

2009-02-11T19:27:00.002-05:00

I undressed and jumped into the already stemaing shower. I felt the warm water rush over my body racing to find the quickest path off of me. While this happened, i lit my joint. I took a deep drag and let it fill my lungs with a bittersweet smoke. i held the smoke in as long as possible, getting every bit as high as i could. i kept my back to the shower head being carefull not to let my sweet escape go out. i took anohter very deep drag, but this time it was a bit much, i started to cough violently. As i coughed i accidentally dropped the joint, and it started to float down towards the drain.

"Shit!" i yelled out as i turned around and bent over to pick it up before it was gone. I picked it up, and before i stood up, as i safety measure i put in the drain plug so if i dropped it again, it would only be wet, and not dissapear. I stood back up rather quickly, and i felt my head smash into the shower shelf. My shampoo, conditioner and a abr of soap went crashing to the ground. Itook a step back still clutching my aching head, when my foot stepped on the abr of soap, a second later, i went crashing down and the bar went flying forward. I fell awkwardly to the side and hit my head against the side of the tub, and then slid in.

i kept coming in and out of consiousness. everytime i noticed the water level was rising. then i noticed it was spilling into my mouth, but i couldnt seem to turn my head, let alone move. all too soon it had started to reach my nose. at this point i was screaming inside of my head. No one was home, so no one could come investigate the large crash's. i then took my last breath of air, before my nose let in the watery death. i was choking and sputtering, but to no avail, for every outward breath of air, i ineveitably had to take in a deep breath. i felt the water invading my lungs.

i was about to black out again, probably for the last time, but i noticed something. Some bright light, and then the sensation of someones hand on my face. the last thing i thoguht before i blacked out was "They better not blame this on the drugs."

I awoke on the floor of the bathroom, and as i awoke, i coughed out a good amount of water. I tried moving my fingers a little, and when i found they responded i decided to get up ever so slowly, for every movement i made threatened to make my skull explode. i sat up against the wall thinking, remembering what had just happened. i then noticed the shower to be off, and i listened as the bathtub drained.

"what in the hell?" i whispered out loud.

i did the only thing that seemed rational.

i picked up the wet joint on the floor, plugged in my hairdryer and dried it out. as i sat there i lit it up. i remembered a white light, and a hand touching my face. I came to the only logicical conclusion underneath the circumstances. I had been saved by an angel.

After my joint was done, i got dressed and headed downstairs. since i was home alone, i had no one to tell this story too. i went on my computer and logged onto MSN, after looking at my contacts, i decided if anyone would beleive me, it would be my girlfriend. i told her the story, and she immediatly asked me if i was high.

"Well yea i am, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well maybe you imgained the whole thing." she typed

"I imagined i was drowning?" i replied

"Well yu never know, you have a great imagination."

"Fine, ill prove it to you."

"How?"

"Im gonna get video proof."

"Please dont do anything dumb."

"No promises."

and i logged off.

I went upstairs to recreate my almost death. I turned on the shower as i rolled a joint and set up my video camera. i waited until it got nice and steamy until i jumped in. I smoked a good half of my joint before purposefully dropping it. i turned around slowly, and grabbed the joint, then stood up super quickly, and i felt the corner of the shelf dig into my head. i then took a very carefully planned step backwards onto the bar of soap. instead of falling to the side again, i scrambled backwards, and hit my head on the wall, directly where the shelf had punctured my head. i slid down into the bathtub, slowly, but soon i was on my back. i couldnt move yet again, but i felt my head throbing, i wouldnt doubt if it was bleeding pretty badly. i lay there as the water slowly filled the bathtub. it finally reached me mouth, and i thought to myself, wow, this is gonna be the best thing ive ever caught on tape. but as my mouth was submerged, i wasent getting any celestial help. then the water was creeping into my nose, trickled of water started to enter my lungs, then streams started to flow in. i lay there wondering when my help would come. when my nose was submerged, i started to realize. i had been givn my second chance, no one was gonna help me now.

the last thing i thought before i died was

"They better not fucking blame this on the drugs."

Love Rhymes with Hideous Car wreck

2008-12-06T13:40:00.000-05:00

“Look Jane, it’s just not working out between us anymore…I’m seeing someone else.”
Jane just stared at the man she had come to love and had hoped loved her back as he began to drive away. He got into his car and began to drive away; he thought he was doing the right thing. He drove down the roads, starting to exceed the speed limit because he just felt invincible. His car wasn’t brand new. It was sometimes referred to as a lemon by his friends and Jane. But he was confident enough in it that when it began to shudder he really thought nothing of it. He turned on to the main road barely slowing down until in front of him a semi truck with a small gasoline payload screeched to a stop. He slammed right into the back of the vehicle going 100 km/h. The back of the gas tank kind of buckled inwards as the car ripped a small hole in the back of it, and gasoline started to pour down onto him. His car was in pretty bad shape, the hood of the car was bent upwards. All he could smell, all he could taste was the gasoline covering him. All in all he wasn’t that badly hurt. He unbuckled his seat belt and started to climb out of the window, but there was a jagged piece of glass that he cut his waist on. He screamed out in pain as gasoline mixed with blood rain down his thigh. Just then, the front of his car erupted in flame and him with it. Just then, the man who was driving the semi, grabbed a hold of him, and pulled out of the flaming wreckage and threw a blanket over him to smoulder the flame.

The fire department arrived moments later and proceeded to put out the fire before the gas tank exploded. Then an ambulance arrived. And the opened the back and put him inside on the stretcher. He was aware that he was conscious, but he wasn’t aware of where he was.
“What’s your name kid? Your wallet got burnt in the fire.” one of the paramedics asked him
“I….my name is….” But he couldn’t think of his name.
“Don’t think too hard, you were just in a serious collision, and you are suffering from massive burns across your entire body.”
“Why don’t I feel any pain?”
“We pumped you full of meds; I’m amazed you’re still conscious actually.”
“Why don’t I know what my own name is…why don’t I remember how I crashed?”
“You’re probably just in shock, don’t worry were almost at the hospital, and you’ll be just fine.”

He lay in hospital bed, waiting for the nurse’s to come in and wheel him to his next skin graft treatment. The fire had left his body a scarred ruin, he had heard a doctor describe it as the devils self portrait. He had been in the hospital for weeks, the only person who came to see him was his aunt, who winced the moment she saw him and left. After that no one else had come to see him. Every night, he had dreams, these dreams were so vivid and realistic, every night he fell asleep, and every morning he woke up wondering what was real. In his dreams there was this girl, the always appeared faceless. He met her at some frat party, he was sitting on the couch, and there she was, moving to the music, like a violent gypsy dance. In this dream, he just watched her, never approaching her or talking to her. One night while having this dream, something changed; he got up from the couch, and walked over to her, put his hands on her hips, turned her around and kissed her. He woke up the next morning wondering why the dream had changed.

The hospital refused to let him go until they got a positive ID on him, and because he couldn’t remember who he was, they put him into therapy. Once a week, a psychologist would come in and talk to him, ask him questions. He knew what he would be telling her about when she came in today.
“I had the dream again, the one with the girl, but it changed.”
“How so?” she asked, calmly.
“After a while of watching her, I got up, and moved to her, and put my hands on her hips, and kissed her. Why do you think my dream changed?”
“I think that dream might be part of your life, a part you have forgotten, your brain might be processing the information in there, and has only recently processed farther than just sitting there.”
He just sat there and pondered that.

He slept every chance he could get; he needed to find out who she was. This girl who haunted his dreams. Every night his dream would get a little farther. She would let him touch and feel her. And she would say she felt free like a pineapple in a tree, but at this point he just kept repeating “It’s dangerous to be so intimate.” to her. Then the dream would lead them to a room, and she would lie on her back. Every night when she laid on her back, the same words would come out of her mouth. “The sun hits my body like an ugly landscape.” And after that, the dream was stuck in fast forward. So much would happen, that he wouldn’t remember it all. But he did pick up on the fights, constantly fighting, why wouldn’t things get better? Then one night, he saw a second woman, one with fake porno tits, a pad lock on her lips, disposable hands, and a biodegradable tan. And then he would kiss her.

For weeks, the dream would end on that kiss. For weeks he slept restlessly waiting for the first girl to come back. But she wouldn’t. After about a month, he started having different dreams. He saw the first girl, but she would be standing in the hospital room in front of his bed, and she was wearing a newspaper gown. Every time he tried to talk to her, her gown would erupt into flames, covering her body. But she never moved an inch. These nightmares plagued him. And his health started to decline. His burns were not healing the way they should be, he heard a doctor mutter the words infection a few times.

He could feel his life slipping away from him, he knew he was dying; something was happening in his body that he just could not control. One night after the nurses gave him a sedative to help him sleep. He was the first girl again, but not in his room. She was in some beer soaked apartment, talking to some guy. Some guy she said she had just met. This guy was sketchy looking. He saw this guy yell at her, saw this guy hit her, and saw this guy love her. They would do all the things; he never said that he wanted. He could feel his thoughts slipping, he tried grasping onto the image of the girl, but she kept slipping away from him. He felt himself dying. Then he realised, he knew this woman, that night he gave his burned a face, that night he gave his burden a name. the last words he uttered before he flat lined.
“I’m sorry Jane.”

Ambulance VS Ambulance

2008-12-06T13:39:00.000-05:00

“Wow, what a long day.” Exclaimed Mr Moore as he got in the elevator. Mr Moore was an outgoing consultant at his software company. Mr Moore himself gave the green light to many major deals his company had made. Mr Moore got out of the elevator and started to walk out the building, as he passed the receptionist he gave her a wink. He went to his car and got in, then drove to the tanning salon. Mr Moore was going on vacation in a few weeks to a tropical country and did not want to get burnt up. He walked into the salon paid 30 dollars and went to his tanning room. He was in their for 15 minutes when the bell rang for him to turn over, after a few minutes turned over he heard the door open, by the time he had turned his neck to see who it was, he felt a sharp pinch on his neck and saw a thumb push down on the plunger of the syringe.
“Who are yo-” he had lost consciousness.

When Mr Moore awoke he was aware of three things, he had a splitting headache, he was strapped down on to a table of some sort and he was in some kind of operating room. Just then the intercom crackled to life, and he heard a voice say.
“Glad to see you have regained consciousness.”
“Where am I?” Mr Moore Shouted
“You are in an operating room.”
“I can see that, but why am I here?”
“Mr Moore, my friends and I have been hired by someone to perform a bit of a surgery on you.”
“What do you mean? Why?”
“Mr Moore it seems you have been neglecting your family for quite some time.”
“I-I have a very demanding job, it’s not my fault.”
“Your family doesn’t seem to think it’s not your fault Mr Moore.”
“Look, I don’t know who you are, but whoever you think I am, I’m not.”
“Didn’t you leave your wife for a hooker?”
“H-How did you know that? My wife and I have been having problems for years. It was just a matter of time. What do you want from me?”
“We just want you to answer a few questions Mr Moore”
“Fine then ask me!” Mr Moore screamed.

“Tell us Mr Moore, what was going through your head? When you looked into their eyes?”
“Whose eyes?”
“Don’t be dumb, your families eyes. Your wife and children, what were you thinking when you said ‘No thanks, I’ll take the hooker instead’?”
“What are you going to do to me?”
“Answer the question.”
Mr Moore had started to sob
“I was thinking that I don’t want the responsibility.”
“Wrong answer Mr Moore.”

The door swung open and 2 people dressed in surgeon’s clothes and masks walked in and went to the opposite sides of the table and brought 2 trolleys to their side.
“What are you doing?”
“If you had replied honestly Mr Moore, that you were just horny and lonely, we could have skipped this step.” One of them replied
Mr Moore started to thrash around on the table but his restraints held him in place.
“Please don’t hurt me.” Mr Moore begged.
“It’s not our call.” The other one said
The 2 surgeon’s picked up a scalpel and started to cut at Mr Moore’s thighs. Mr Moore, felt the blades piercing his skin and he screamed out in pain.
“You are experiencing the level of loss and suffering you caused your family Mr Moore.”
The 2 surgeon’s proceeded to cut off pieces of Mr Moore’s thigh. After they had both cut off sizeable pieces, they threw alcohol on the wound to sanitize it and then the cauterized it with 2 large irons. Mr Moore had never known such pain.

One of the surgeons produced a microphone and stuck into Mr Moore’s face.
“So, Mr Moore, tell us, what do you miss more, your desk or the hungry sky?
For awhile Mr. Moore just screamed in pain, and couldn’t answer, but the surgeons were patient.
Eventually when he calmed down they asked him the question again.
“I miss my workspace.”
The one surgeon looked at him and just said.
“Wrong Answer.”

Mrs Moore was sitting on the couch watching the television with her two kids both were 4 years old, when the phone rang. She got up to go answer it, telling her children she would be right back. When she picked up the phone she heard a familiar voice.
“Did you find him?” she asked
The voice on the phone confirmed
“Is he dead?”
The voice once again confirmed
“He had it coming.” She said
“He sure did Mrs Moore, we have the whole thing an audio and video if you want it, and we have the entire file on paper for you as well.”
“Thank you, and yes please I’d like them all.”
“Don’t forget the deal Mrs Moore; we’re coming back for your children.”
“I haven’t forgotten. Good bye.”
Mrs Moore went back to sit with her kids, she turned the news on, there were more abductions and killings all across the country, these attacks being made by pale people with a very eerie air about them, some cult or something she thought.“What a messed up world we live in.”

Salesman, Denver Max

2008-11-23T17:48:00.001-05:00

Max Denver was a not so ordinary guy, who let an almost ordinary life, but nobody knew what made it quite so unordinary. Max was a car salesman, at the auto lot he worked at, he was considered to be their best salesman. Max had a way with the kids’ parents sometimes parents brought in, that they immediately trusted him. Max woke up and got dressed, and then he made breakfast while listening to the news on the local radio station. The news contained the same old dreary news, more disturbing attacks from around the country and some from around the world were being reported. It seemed like more and more people were being brutally attacked the number of attacks daily were rising. The victims would either be killed, and drained of all their blood, or bitten in the neck and then kidnapped by their assailants.

“What kind of world are me living in?” Max asked himself rhetorically.

Max went to the door that led to his basement; it was locked, as it should be. After all his usual morning rituals Max was off to work. Instead of the news max decided to put on some music, something a tad more upbeat than the reports of war, and famine, and disease. Max got to work 10 minutes early, just enough time to set up all the displays and appropriate signs the lot needed. It was a slow day at work, only 20 people had come in that day, and no one wanted to make a commitment to buy any cars. Noon rolled around and Max decided to go to lunch with his fellow salesman Kevin. They went to a local dinner, and ordered their usual lunch. Over lunch they talked about the weather and sports. As they were finishing their lunch outside the dinner across the street, they both saw this disturbingly pale man, jump on and rip open a woman’s throat with his bare teeth, hit her across the head, pick her up and start running. Both men were shocked into silence, neither of them even considered the possibility of the attacks happening in their own town. Neither man dwelled too long on what was happening, because they had to get back to work.

Minutes ticked by and finally it was time to go home, Max said goodbye to Kevin as he got into his car. Max’s drive home was quite uneventful. When max got home, he quickly got into his house and locked the door behind him, he took a key off the key rack and walked to the basement stairs. He unlocked the key, stepped through the doorway and locked the door behind him. He walked down the stairs and unlocked the second door; this door was specially built to be sound proof. Max stepped through this doorframe as well, and closed it behind him, but he left it slightly open just incase anyone were to ring the doorbell. Max then proceeded to turn on his basement lights, one by one, rows of fluorescent lights started to flicker to life. Max looked into the corner and smiled, she was right were he had left her the day before, still tied up to her chair and gagged. Max walked over to the girl he had imprisoned in his basement and took off her gag.

“How are you today?” he asked
“Please, don’t hurt me” she pleaded
“We both know perfectly well, that I am going to hurt you today.”

Just then Max heard a large crash come from upstairs, and lots of crashing and breaking ensued the initial crash.

“What the hell is that?” Max had asked aloud.
“I do-” the girl began
“Shut up” Max cut her off

Max replaced her gag and decided to investigate what was happening upstairs, the girl started to scream, but she was incoherent with the gag in place. Max left the bottom door open a fraction as he went up. The door at the top of the stairs was always unlocked from the inside, and always locked from the outside. At the top of the stairs was also a small cabinet; inside the cabinet was one gun. Max kept it as a ‘just in case’ insurance policy. Max took this gun and opened the door, and stepped out with the gun raised, the door closed behind him. Max walked around the house investigating, when he found the source of the crashing sounds, his kitchen window was completely smashed, and so was everything in his kitchen. Max didn’t know what to do; no one was in sight, so he figured he would deal with this a bit later. Max walked back to the door, as he put his key in the lock, he heard something behind him; he turned quickly and raised his gun. He stood there shocked, there standing before him was the woman he saw get attacked earlier and her assailant.

Max began to speak “What are you –“
When the door behind him burst open causing him to fall forward onto his knees.
The girl that had previously been imprisoned burst out of the doorway screaming.
“Please, help me, hes kidnapped me, and forced me to live in his basement.”

Before she could say anymore, the woman in front of them leapt at her. Max was halfway backup to standing when the blow sent both him, and the 2 women, flying down the stairs. Max heard his leg break in many different places, and his screamed joined those of the girl he had kidnapped. They landed at the bottom of the stairs and rolled right through the door at the bottom. The two women rolled farther to the right of Max. Max saw the teeth of the woman from earlier today descend into his girl’s neck. Max cried out in disgust, the Woman looked up at him and screeched, and then the man she was with was instantly at her side. He picked up the girl max had kidnapped and ran back up the stairs, as the screams of the girl disappeared, Max was left alone with the woman.

“Please, I don’t know who you are, but please, don’t kill me.” Max pleaded.
The woman hissed at him, and swiped at him with her hand. Her nails had scratched Max’s unprepared retina’s blinding him. Max heard the woman get up, and as Max screamed in pain with his hand over his eyes, she reached into his mouth and ripped out his tongue. Max’s mouth filled with blood, as he continued to yell in pain, he started choking on his blood. He heard footsteps racing up the stairs.

Max was left alone, to die.

[Untitled]

2008-11-23T16:23:00.000-05:00

He walked out of his house, down the hill and towards the General store. He started to think, he thought about his life, and about his death. He wondered how he would die; he wondered how he wanted to die. But he thought he already knew.

The car at the top of the hill’s break line would break. It would roll slowly, gaining speed gradually. It would roll mostly straight. When it hit its maximum speed it would jump up onto the curb making a loud noise. He would look behind him to see what the sound was, and he would watch the car hit him. He wouldn’t roll over it, no, he’d roll right under it. The front tire would roll over his leg, and the back tire would run over his waist, popping it like a balloon, spilling his guts out onto the sidewalk in a bright pattern of splattered blood, his leg was now broken in 2 places. He never made any sound of pain. He lay there broken and bleeding, his blood soaking into the cement, painting it a deep shade of red. He heard others nearby scream and yell, but he never made a sound. The sirens were now in the distance, and getting closer faster, even though he felt ever agonizing moment, he never made a sound. He felt the warm flowing as his blood ran down his body. They dragged him onto the ambulance, and he felt the drugs course through him, he felt the ease of pain, but there was no sense of relief time flew by and he was in the hospital, I heard his mother crying, he heard his father swearing, but that’s not what was important. Then he felt nothing.

He heard a sound behind him, but he didn’t have to look up to know what it was.

What The Darkness Brings Forward

2008-11-23T16:16:00.000-05:00

He sat alone in the TV room blissfully unaware of all that was around him, except for the drone of the television. He was watching some show about vampires, oh how he hated vampires, the only good thing about this show was how the vampires were hunted down like dogs and mercilessly dealt with in a fashion only horror movie enthusiasts could enjoy. Burned, stake through the heart, silver, crosses, holy water…yes there were many ways to deal with the undead.

His kitchen was conveniently beside the television room. And the TV room had a glass door that lead to a porch, it was a nice enough night so the drapes were pulled open, revealing the trees, a soft wind and the glow from the neighbors lights, but there was something else…a shadow that was getting bigger.

He saw the shadow the same time he saw the figure, which at that time it was impossible to escape what would inevitably follow. He froze unable to act or even react to this strange presence. The figure stepped directly in front of the glass window and raised one hand, then extended a finger, the finger slowly started to press against the glass, from the moment its flesh touched the glass a kind of electricity filled the air, and all of a sudden the glass shattered. This abrupt noise seemed to break a hypnotic like trance he was in. He stood up and took a step sideways towards the kitchen.

“Who are you?” he shouted with a trembling voice.

The figure then took a single step inside of the doorframe, but only one step. The figure did two different things, it opened its eyes, revealing a red inferno that the eyelids hid, and it smiled showing long sharpened teeth that were so white they seemed bleached.
Then it hit him, he was standing in front of a vampire.

“What are you?” he asked even though he knew the answer.

It only stood still.

Are you a vampire?” he asked in a quickly fading voice.

It nodded its head, with its red eyes still transfixed on him.
With renown confidence he laughed, actually had the nerve to laugh in front of it.

He said “I know how to kill you and your kind.”

It only stood still.

“You filthy leeches.” he almost spat the words.

It leapt at him.

He took an awkward side step again towards the kitchen just as it came crashing into the couch he had until moments before stood in front of. He bolted for the kitchen and ripped open the utensil drawer and was fumbling around until he found was he was looking for, an ornamental silver knife. He backed himself into a corner just as it got up from the remains of the couch. It had started a slow kind of shuffle towards him by now. It walked towards him until it was standing in front of him, just out of arms reach. He lunged with the knife and the tip penetrated its flesh, for a moment nothing happened, then it took a step forward pushing itself onto the knife.

“Why aren’t you dead?” he asked, his voice seeming to accuse it for drawing breath.
It stood in front of him and simply shook its head; he was hypnotized by its eyes. It raised one of its arms and
(It sure looks human)
Swatted at him, sending him effortlessly crashing into the wall.
He collapsed on the ground and turned his head towards it, his eyes full of accusations.
It turned its head towards him and flashed its fangs.
He screamed.

He was only a police officer on his regular patrol when he got the call about the sounds of screams and breaking glass were coming from next door to this ladies house. He pulled up into the driveway of the house in question and prepared him self for a late night domestic disturbance, the only thing disturbing about this to him though was the fact that they were male screams. He got out of his patrol car and walked up the steps to the door of the house and knocked…no answer, he knocked again but this time a wolf howled in the far distance, sending shivers up his spine and goose bumps all over his arms despite the warm night air, oh how he hated wolves. He un-holstered his gun and tried the door, it was unlocked. He stepped inside and instantly got hit with an overwhelming smell, he didn’t know what it was but he didn’t like it. He pulled out his flashlight and walked into the front entrance.

“Hello?” he called

There was no answer. He made his way into the living room and saw shattered glass and a destroyed couch, a sound in the kitchen made him turn jerkily towards it. He shone his flashlight into the room and there was blood…everywhere, on the walls, ceiling, and floor. It was a complete mess, but in the middle of this mess was a great big wolf. One who had the eyes as red as the devil himself, it stood panting in front of him showing its large pointed teeth.

“Filthy mongrel.” He said almost spitting the words out.

It leapt at him

Demolition Lovers Part I & II

2008-11-23T16:13:00.000-05:00

I

It was a cold day in the desert today as we made our way west.
“If this gets too hard…your not just gonna leave me are you?” Mariah asked me out of nowhere.
I took her hand into mine and looked into her icy blues, I said to her in the most reassuring voice I could muster.
“There is nothing on this earth that could ever make me leave you.”
Her eyes twinkled with doubt. After the moment had passed I turned back to the map spread out between the two front seats in the car and I said.
“If we take to the highway and stay off the back roads we could get to Vegas in about 3 days, but well need to travel fast and almost non-stop.”
“But what if they see us?” she asked.
“With this trunk of ammunition too, id end my days with you in a hail of bullets.” I replied “If they catch us there is hardly a chance of us shooting our way out this time, there’s just too many now.”
“You’re not very uplifting today…” she said
“I just want you to know what were in for if we get caught.”
After a long pause I continued “you know how bad I am with words but you have to understand that im trying.”
“Trying to what?” She asked
“Trying to let you know how much you mean to me, I mean after all the things we put each other through we are still together.”
“I know you love me” she whispered
“I told you I would drive on to the end with you. It used to be that a liquor store or two kept the gas tank full, but now everything is just so hard. I feel like there’s nothing left to do but prove myself to you, and too keep this car running. But this time, I mean it ill let you know just how much you mean to me.”
“Why are you saying this?” she asked hoarsely
“I think our numbers up.”

As we drove along that long stretch of desert highway, the snow started to fall from the desert sky, not a good omen.
“Im sorry if im scaring you, but you have to feel the ends near too.” I said at last
After a long pause she finally said “I do…I just don’t want to say it out loud so it doesn’t seem so real.”
“I’ll love you ‘till the end of everything Mariah.”
“I’ll love you for just as long.”
I was trying to let her know just how much she means to me, but I don’t think she quite gets it.
The day was starting to fade, and the night was starting to grow, and inside the car we grew cold.
“Right until the end, in that pool of blood.” I mumbled to myself
Mariah seemed not to hear me. But until that pool of blood I mean this.
The day continued to fade, and the night continued to grow, and still we grew cold.
When they catch us well show them, well show them all how much we mean. The snow continued to fall from the desert sky.
The longer I drove the closer we got to our end, if only I could turn around and just go back.
The daylight was now gone and the darkness enveloped us.
This was no longer our ballpark.This is almost the end of every…

II

As we rolled to a stop in front of a recently abandoned dinner, the last glimmer of daylight left the skies.
“This isn’t good, grab the ammo and run inside quick!” I yelled to Mariah as she was already out the door. As I got out and went to the trunk to help her, I saw the distant glow of the vampires’ car headlights.
“Just grab what you can and run inside!” I yelled to her again
She looked behind her and saw the headlights and without another word ran inside with a few handfuls of bullet cases. I grabbed a few as well and followed her in. the doors were unlocked thanks to the haste the previous owners had left in.
When we got inside we checked the lights and luckily enough they worked and the whole dinner was cast in an eerie fluorescent glow. We had just found the keys and had locked all the doors when the first cars skidded to a stop out front.
The cars were all police cruisers, and the vampires decided instead of raising there voices the built in microphone would work just as good to talk to us.
“Come out without any weapons drawn, and well let you live as one of us.” A voice demanded.
The only response they got was the sound of gunfire, the shatter of glass and the thunk of a bullet lodging itself in the windshield of the car that had just spoken.
“We can wait, there are more of us coming” the same voice told us.

I just started to laugh.
“What is so damn funny?” Mariah asked me angrily
“All we are…all we are too them are bullets.” I replied
“What?” she asked
“I mean it, the treat us like bullets, were deadly, but were also finite. There just gonna wait until were overwhelmed, without a hope of shooting our way out.”
Just then 3 more cruisers all pulled up, the occupants quickly emptied out and set up spot lights behind the cars so all we could see are their silhouettes
“You’re right, there’s…there is no way out this time, but we’ve come so far!” she cried out her voice full of sorrow and dread. “What can we even do, just wait for our deaths?” she continued
“We will just take as many of them with us as possible.” I told her, my voice filled with icy determination.
“As long as I die by your side that’s fine by me.” She said as she walked to my side

The hours rolled by until dawn threatened to show itself.
“There not going to wait for much longer, lets do it now, lets make our last act of defiance against this new world order our last stand for humanity.” I said to her
We got up off of the floor, and stood between the windows and the counter. We could hear a commotion coming from outside as they all got out of their cars and stood in front of the cruisers all armed.
I heard a clack of metal and looked over to see Mariah’s left hand empty with a gun on the floor.
When I saw the gun and her shaking hand, I dropped my gun in my right hand. Our hands son found each other.

So here we stood on the 21st of December 2012, a pistol in my left hand, her hand in my right.
We both lifted our guns in unison when a shout echoed from the crowd out front.
We both started to shoot, and seconds later they all shot back.

Here we stand amidst the raining lead that pierced glass, shattered mirrors, sunk into wooden fixtures, and passed through flesh. We were both struck again and again, but our strength never wavered. We kept firing until we were out of ammo. They kept on firing, we looked at each other and smiled when a shot came in and entered and exited Mariah’s chest. She started to fall but before I could react two shots passed through my body and I started to fall backwards too.

As we were falling down into that pool of blood, we were touching hands, and time seemed to have slowed to a crawl as we fell into the pool of blood that had collectively coursed through our body’s moments before. I still had time to get lost in those icy blue eyes of hers, and kept contact with them until we hit the floor.

And there we lay, bloody and on the edge of death still staring into each others eyes. There ended the life of us, the demolition lovers.