is that a bee?

this july night is awfully cold

the summer creeping, making a move so bold

lest it be known to all that if truth be told

if you could save me, this hand i would fold

suicide is cowardly

suicide denotes bravery

and if i could remember clearly

i was born running away, you see?

there is one of two ways i like to stay warm

adding another cut to this hideous swarm

or ill drink myself stupid reciting my blame

but apparently all i can muster is slurring your name

this isnt fair

it never was

dont even try to pretend

im so scared

im just buzzed

i just need my friends.

swinging is so 70's

stay low, swing hard, swing heavy

im down, you start, im not ready

lets roll, dont stop, were almost there

lets just stop, well just forget, what our bodies feel like

we feel this now but we wont for long

we live in this town but we dont belong

dont call me by my first name

it wont help my notorious fame

im the lowest of the low

well not quite but you get the idea

im synonomous with sketchy

im just not a good kid

fuck authority, fuck what you know about me

everything you every heard about me is true

it doesent matter if its true or not

i probably did it

im a rock and roll punk who loves his drugs

ive been sober for awhile i think thats gonna change

im now who i am if i can think straight

im punch drunk in love with my old lifestyle

i was who im not anymore

art from the shadows and out like a light

now i cant fall asleep

i want the shadows to come back

ill give you a reason not to love me.

it all come back to this harlequined relation

i sit here bumbed and dulled

this pill erasing all the pain thats left

i left myself half but i go back for more im fucked

still the only thing that makes sens is that last treble cleft

im beside myself with pity and contempt

this line right here is nothing but a sad attempt

to free myself from this spell you have cast

set fire to the mast, i cant forget my past

the wolves are back and they bite at my heels

they dont understand what it is to feel or how to deal

i dont want to kneel, i want to know this is real

this feeling is sureal this pill quickly becomes my last meal

i hate to dissapoint you yet again

one after another its all a dead end

there just none of my honor left to defend

so i do what you want, like its my idea, i pretend

my thoughts are turning dull callous and cold

i gotta hold on to this idea lest i behold

an ideal of what is supposed to be

according to mee im supposed to be free

im a rogue angel fallen from grace

not knowing where, my sadness to displace

so i hold it all in until i commit my sin

then im stuck here swimming trying to break even.