I hope im not a dissapointment.

i miss you.

infact i never kew you

i have no memories of us.

just childhood videos.

where you laugh and smile and hold me.

but thats as far as it goes for us.

i was too young

to remember you

to remember you passing away..

but here i am

almost 18

and i cant help but wonder

are you watching over me?

do you see all of my mistakes?

do see you all my downfalls.

do you notice how happy i make everyone.

i hope your not dissapointed

your son never raised me.

and neither did you.

but thats not your fault

i drifted away

all the time.

if you were here

what would we talk about?

would i ask you for advice

would i ask for your help

would we talk about girls

would you tell me about the good ol days.

would you ask me my troubles

would you buy me a beer?

or would i shut you out

and ignore you

like i do the rest of my family

im not close to them

i never have been,

i dont think i ever will be.

i feel all alone when my family is here.

i dont like them. or talking to them.

but here i am.

if your reading this.

if your watching over me

i wan you to know

i miss you

and god do i love you.

Tree a) and Tree b)

i was walking in the forest

all alone

and i noticed two things

the first thing i noticed

was this young green tree,

he was tall

but he never stood tall

he leaned forward with his face in the mud.

an arch in his back as he tried to stand up

as he tried to keep from going down.

then my eyes drew t tree number two.

he was old, he was dead, he didnt even have any roots.

what struck me about him.

was he was broken, and leaning on tree number one.

i wondered to my self.

if he knew what was going to happen

if he knew he would fall down.

i feel like he did.

he knew he was falling.

he wanted to stop it.

so he tried to keep himself up,

keep himself alive,

by maybe leaning on tree number one

tree number one was not strong enough

and now lives with this burden on his back

for his entire life,

he will always have tree number twos death on his back.

tree number one will never give up

but we all know it wont do much.

i walked away from this saddening scene

and i thought to myself.

i just cant stop falling.