Hero

He never saw it coming at all. Rather he never saw her coming. She was in the middle of the road eyes clearly shut, arms stretched out, walking like a drunken airplane between the two lanes. All the cars just honked at her and kept driving, few coming perilously close to clipping her arms. Walking away from this became impossible; the drivers may be content with out of sight out of mind but if he saw her face on the news that night he knew he’d never forgive himself for not doing something about it. The traffic was very heavy so he had to wait and wait until he knew he could make it to the middle with her. The very first opportunity that presented itself was seized. Without really thinking the plan through, he was now in the middle of two lanes face to face with a girl who had the biggest smile, one that reached her closed eyes.
“Look lady, I don’t know what your deal is but I’m not leaving your side unless it’s over on that sidewalk.” He told her.
She opened her eyes briefly, in that brief moment he saw her eyes. Without being able to explain it he knew he saw himself in those eyes. The same vacant look of apathy he saw staring from the mirror every day. She must have seen it too. She stopped with her arms still out stretched and one foot of the ground. They stood like that staring at each other, the traffic blurring around them, the traffic lights blurring into a bright bouquet. No one seemed to notice let alone care that two young adults were standing between two lanes. She slowly lowered her foot and arms, and just stood there still staring.
“What do you even know?” she said
“I know that this is illegal, unless you want to get arrested for something so trivial.” He said.

“I…I want to have a cup of coffee with you.” She said.

He asked her why; she never gave me more than a “because” as her reason. More than satisfied he agreed to meet her at a local coffee shop within days. The days between now and then seemed like an eternity, days stretched by with only her figure, her frame, her eyes. When the day of the coffee date occurred, he did not know what to do. Show up early, show up late, memorize random interesting facts? Dates were enough to be nervous of, a date with someone who exhibited suicidal tendencies on the other hand: was something to prepare for. He knew he had to be charming and interesting. He never anticipated just how easy it would be to carry a conversation with someone he had only known as a crazy person in the street. She displayed none of the characteristics of the girl he had met. She was interested in vegetarianism, not for the animal cruelty but for the taste. She was healthy for the sake of herself and every word she spoke made him fall just a little bit more.

She was the perfect mix of Tyler and Marla, a combination so frightful but so refreshing. A person that only seemed capable of existing between pages. They met over coffee, and talked over drinks. One night they both had as much as they could stand of the charade, he asked her first.

“So how long have you been here?” he asked her.

“I was wondering if you would ever ask me. To be honest I don’t know, maybe a few years.” She replied.

He needed no incentive; it was his turn to answer the question.

“I think I have only been here for a few weeks, possibly months. It gets hard to keep track of the time.” He said.

“I know what you mean, when I first got here I had no one, everything was an inconsistent blur.”
“I guess I’m lucky to meet someone who has gotten used to the way things are around here.” He exclaimed.
She looked at him as if he had said something incomprehensible.
“Used to? You think that’s possible around here? To simply become used to the way things are? To live every day with half a memory of a life I once lived? I have no idea who I am, who I used to be or why I am here. There is nothing you could ever get used to!” she yelled.

“I’m sorry I never realised that it does not get easier.” He replied sheepishly.
“it’s okay.” She said with a sigh. “You’re just the only person I can actually vent to, everyone else gives me this ridiculous feeling of emptiness. It actually seems like you are real…you are real aren’t you?”

“I wish I could tell you I was, but I would have to be aware of my own existence in order for me to accept I exist. I feel like I’m drifting, day to day, week to week, month to month. I only feel real when I dream but if I don’t exist the way I am, than I would give up all hope on a future.”

“Have you given up?” she asked.

“No, and I never will give up either. Until I can prove or disprove my existence why bother?” he answered.

She looked at him, right into his eyes and saw what she thought she would. A spark of flame, one of passion. She would have never believed it but here he was in front of her. A person made of the same stuff she was, someone with enough soul for the both of them. Months turned into weeks, weeks turned into days when they were together. Even though there time together was priceless, they were both still haunted by their dreams, they both had the same one every night. A room of white, with machines making whirling, beeping, and dragging noises. Every now and then they would wake up with a pain in their arm, as if pierced by some invisible needle. Voices would ring out periodically through the night, some seemed familiar while others seemed much too official. A sense of distance became to close upon them; until one night he slept over.

“You’re leaving aren’t you?” she asked.
“I am, I don’t know where or when or how; but I am leaving.” He replied.
“I can feel it, sometimes when I hold you, I feel like I’m grasping at smoke.”
“I feel like I am made of smoke lately, no matter how hard I hold on to you, its not enough.”

“I know you’re going to leave.” She said. “Please don’t let me go through. I won’t be able to deal alone in this place, to find someone the same as me, someone real! Just to let go of you a few short months later.”
“Don’t ever let go of me, am as real as I can be.”

“Don’t ever leave me.” She pleaded.
They leaned close to kiss each other. She looked deep in his eyes and said.
“Open wide, here comes original sin.”
He tried to re assure her, he tried to comfort her, but all he ended up doing was waking up alone in a hospital bed. He looked to his right, and saw a white wall; he looked to his left and saw her. He actually saw the girl from the coma. She was thinner though, even under the covers he could tell. Before he could even call for help, to let them know he was awake. Her life support systems began to chime and ring and ding. His body was weak; he could not talk, or move very much. The nurses rushed in and one aided him into a sitting position, the others tried their best to keep her alive. He knew before the nurses that nothing they could do would bring her back. He knew she had given up, he had disappeared from her reality. He was the only thing keeping her going, and by waking up he had abandoned her to her own lonely existence. No one’s got it all. He never saw it coming at all.