Tuesday, June 30, 2009

we gotta stay high

if i am dreaming, then i am always alone, so this shouldnt feel any different.

if i feel more alone, maybe i am awake after all

just how alone can a man who sees his neighbor 200 feet away get?

how deep in yourself are you if you still here people sneeze?

its weird how the same scenery can change from one moment to the other

just keep your thoughts away from me and you will be fine

just keep my existence out of your mind

youll start to find it easy not to care

if im even there.

Kamp philosophy

As charisnatic as the clouds blocking the sun eagerly begging for time.

as comfertable as rocks underwater on the shallow coast

as brave as the bee who knows his own fate when stinging

as confusing as overlapping words scribbled on a page

as misplaced as a flutter fo snow on an august day

as abrupt as the sun breaking loose from its morning threshhold, to when the moon conquers the sky

as odd as gas exploding in violent fleurescent storms

is as strong as my love for her.

its all about me.

i told you it was alright
i told you not to cry
i told you to scream out
your last fucking goodbye

i told you this wouldnt hurt
i told you this would be over soon
i told you i loved you
i told you fucking lies.

ill watch you burn you bitch
ill watch as you collapse
ill watch your clothes melt off.
this is for your relapse.

you said never again
i fucking believed you
you said he was just a friend
ill stab you right through!

you said you knew
how i felt today
i found out you blew
his cock every possible way.

burn bitch burn
its now your turn
to feel this pain
in this fiery melting rain.

everyone you say?

i've recently learned
were all fucked in the head
one way or another
we sometimes wish we were dead.

everyones got a stroy to tell
about one time when they fell
and did something they might regret
most of the times it something they will not let go.

sometimes we think were the worst off.
that our lives are fucked beyong repair.
our looks are the worse for wear
but we need to remember
somebody does care.

maybe it matters to you or not
that someone cares about what you got
somebody wants to help you everytime you fall
someone who will help you crawl.
they wont force you to stand and fight.
theyll listen to your pathetic plight.
they'll hear about all your insecurities.

sometimes its hard to realise we have these people all around us.
and sometimes we just dont fucking care.
its hard to care when you cant stop the bleeding.
when you cant keep that razor away.
its hard to imagine any sense of relief.
when you keep cutting into your grief.
or do you drink until you cant remember?
because its so much easier to say you dont care when you cant remember why you cared in the first place.


Sunday, June 21, 2009

Helena

WARNING: this story sucks

I don=t know why, but tonight seemed like a good night to go out. So I grabbed my purse, put on some comfy shoes and walked out the door. My feet led me to the church, I don=t know why, but I never questioned wherever I ended up, I like to think im here for a reason. I walked in and sat down at the back in a seat close to the door. One of the first things to catch my attention was the man standing up front beside the priest. He was handsome with a very intelligent look on his face. Then, as if reading my thoughts he turned and his eyes found mine seconds later. I kept staring out of shock before I put my head down in embarrassment. Out of my peripheral vision I could see that he was still looking at me. Knowing this I decided to apply some lip gloss a little provocatively to make myself more appealing. I wouldn=t mind going home with him though, I raised my head and saw he had one eyebrow raised questionably. I gave him a very affirming look, letting him know exactly what my intentions were, then nodded my head towards the door. He looked at me and nodded a tiny bit. As I got up to walk out the pastor was saying how this night couldn=t be possible if it wasn=t for the man beside him, his name was Dominic. It suited him.

I went outside with one last glance in his direction, and went outside to wait., I saw him come out as I was about to walk down an alley that headed in the direction of my apartment. I didn=t see if he was coming or not when I walked down the alley. I kept walking down the alley progressively slower, waiting for him to catch up. After a little while longer I heard a gunshot echoed behind me. I figured it was time to go home before the owner of the gun decided to come down this way. Dominic could wait.

I got home and quickly went to bed I didn=t realize how tired I was. I woke to the sound of a stressed alarm and realized I had slept in. I scrambled up and shut off the alarm, then threw on the clothes that were closest to me, and ran out the door. I had an important meeting that I was already late for. I ran out to my car and set out for my office building. As I sped down the two lane highway, I realized just how slow the car in front of me was going, if I was going to get to the meeting before it ended I had to pass this car. I turned on my signal lights and went into the next lane.

Everything happened so quickly, the first thing I noticed was the front end of a car, racing down the highway towards me. Then I went spinning off the road and was being thrown around in the front seat as I slid down the side of the road. Both cars were still screeching when I came into a sudden stop because of a big tree. Once I got my bearings I realized the other car had pinned me to the tree. The impact of both the collisions left me unable to move, and left me barely breathing. I tried to move my legs, but a piece of twisted metal had fixed itself into my right leg. The blood was starting to flow freely, I could even feel the warm feeling pouring down from my mouth. That=s when I realized how potent the smell of gasoline was inside the car. Until smoke starting to filter in, I hadn=t realized I was trapped inside of a car about to erupt in flames.


I started to screaming for help, looking frantically for the driver of the other vehicle.

AHelp me!@ I cried out ACan you hear me? Are you near me?@

Then I saw him staring wide eyed at me and the quickly developing flames. He had no intention of helping me. His face had that same intelligent look to it as doms. And before I knew it I was falling in love with the man, this man that refused to help me.

AIf you carry on this way...@ I started to whisper

AThings are better if I stay@ He shouted suddenly

AI cant help you, the fire is too out of control.@ he continued

Until then I hadn=t realized how warm it was. My skin was burning and could feel the flames licking at me. I continued to scream in pain as this man watched me die. He was shouting something to me. I didn=t know why but the only thing I could think to reply was AMy name is Helena!@

Legend of the Warming

NOTE: this is a legen/myth i wrote for anthropology class in gr 11

The gods created our world many, many years ago with one question in mind. What does it mean to be mortal? After the question was answered the Gods were amazed and granted the mortal race on the planet to continue to live there in peace on one condition. They had to prove their mortality once every 50 years. One child every 50 years unknowingly becomes the focus of the Gods, this child is put through 3 tests and if he fails any of them, the world will perish; throughout the trials the world will become increasingly cold, warm and violent. Once they are finished the world will go back into a state of peace and calm. The first recorded Legend of the Warming was written approx. 1500 B.C.

The world was in turmoil, the seas had become fevered with Hurricanes, and the skies fraught with lightning. The air grew warmer every summer, and colder every winter. The winds continued to grow stronger, and the lakes continued to dry up. The trees and the animals continued to grow weaker, and disease scoured the earth. These strange weather occurrences began on Servius’s 12th birthday when he went walking by the dark woods and heard some screaming coming from the dark forest. His father had told him spirits dwelled in this forest and he should never enter it himself, but he summoned up all his courage and ran in to aid whoever belonged to the voice. Soon he encountered one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen. Servius confident because of his new age, decided to approach the women. The closer he got to the woman the uglier and more hunched over she became. When he was right in front of her, he asked the old lady what was wrong. She told him she had become lost and he must help her return home. Servius had always been taught respect for elders so he complied and walked her out of the forest and to her house. Once at the old woman’s house, Servius noticed she looked a little younger, and stood a little taller. The woman asked Servius to return to her house every day on his birthday until she died, she was such a lonely old woman.

One year later Servius returned to her house, and noticed she looked even younger and stood more upright than the year before she even had less wrinkles. They spent the entire day together until the sun went down. Servius told the woman that his father needed him home before dark, but he promised he would come back again. Servius returned unannounced to her house a few months later, and to his surprise she had become younger again, even gaining physical aspects of a younger woman with her more pronounced bosom. Servius’s Appearances became more and more frequent until his 16th birthday, when she had the figure of a 16 year old girl. When she opened the door, it was obvious they were in love, and when he realized that if he left her, the next time he would see her she might become younger still. So he decided to never leave her, and with that final thought he kissed her. For 3 years they never left each others sights, when he finally did leave even for a moment she had not gotten any younger, she just seemed more beautiful to him. Servius had passed the first task, he had fallen in love.

For many years Servius and his wife had lived together but they had never conceived any children. When she suddenly became pregnant he became suspicious, one day he decided to follow his spouse to the local town, in town she had walked to a house and knocked at the door, a man answered and let her in. Servius knew she must be sleeping with this man, and in his fury broke down the door and stormed into the bedroom; there he saw this man and his wife making love. Servius pulled a dagger from his blade and approached the frightened couple. He turned to his wife and asked why she had done this to him? She replied she didn’t mean to it just happened. Servius turned to the man and asked how he could involve himself with a married woman. The man asked Servius if he loved his wife. Servius replied “Of course I do!” the man then said to Servius “Then you know how I feel about her.” Servius thought about it and re-sheathed his dagger and wished them both a happy life. Servius had passed the second task; he has understood and has forgiven.

Years passed and all Servius could think of was his lost wife, he did not go out with other girls, and hardly talked to anyone. When one day the man he had caught in bed with his wife appeared at the door. Servius asked him what he was doing here. The man replied that the gods had taken his wife and are going to kill her; they said only the man who truly loves her can rescue her. The man explained that if he were in Servius’s situation he would have killed him, but since Servius had loved his wife enough to let her go, he decided Servius should be the one to rescue her. Servius set out for the mountain range the man had told him about. He walked for days until he reached the summit, at the top of the mountain were 2 women, one old hunched over woman who has been tied to a tree, and a beautiful young women holding a silver sword at the neck of the old lady. Servius instantly recognized the old lady as his wife when he had first met her years ago. The second woman was the Goddess of choice. He approached the goddess and demanded that she return his wife. The Goddess asked Servius if he would rather have this old wrinkled lady or her, a young beautiful Goddess. Without hesitation Servius had said the name of his wife. Outraged the Goddess then asked him if he understood death. Servius replied that he did. The Goddess asked him what death meant. Servius replied

“Death is the end of a journey, be it a finished or interrupted journey.”

The goddess asked Servius if he had the choice of taking his own life in order to let his wife return to he new lover, and her younger form, or taking the life of this old lady in exchange for his immortality and marriage to the Goddess. Servius turned to his wife and asked her only one question “Were you happy with him?”

She replied with a nod.

Servius turned to the Goddess and told her. “Take this life, im right here, stay awhile and breath me in.”

The Goddess was confused about his meaning at first then realized; he understood his journey was to be interrupted. The Goddess swung her sword and cut off the head of Servius.

Servius had passed the third task, he had understood his own mortality.

The second his head left his shoulders, the seas of the world calmed, the winds died, the livestock multiplied and prospered the sky was no longer lit with lightning. Order had been restored

Random Lyrics

I)
This is the sound of a deserted mind

empty, (sublime)
cold, (divine)
this is the habit i dont want to break
everything i lose im ready to re-make
everything thats healed is just going to re-break
this is just too much to fake

Listen to this ferocity
commit this attrocity
become a monstrosity
become one wiht society

This is the sound of angry static
the sound of a love-automatic
the sound of a pain dynamic
but not the act of a panic

What did you do to the air
to let out this public scare
This just is not fair

II)
keep your eyes at the same level as mine
keep your hand placed firmly in mine
keep your heart beating fast against mine
keep your lips moving against mine
keep your tongue rolling against mine
keep this our secret

this wont last forever
soon you wont even ever
remember how i said 'forever'
and now your saying 'never ever'

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Enough is Enough

NOTE: this story is dedicated to katerina power, my biggest fan.

"those people in the movies are retarded!" jeff told the people around him for the fourth time.
jeff took a drag from his joint before continuing.
"They do everything wrong!"
jeff stopped for a momemt.
"Wait a minute!" he exclaimed "You're not strangers!"

"No dug jeff we've been talking to you all night." cindy told him
"Well soooooorry cindyyyyyy." said jeff "Anyway what was i talking about?"
"How you would have done things differently if you were in a horror movie." jordan told him

"Oh, yes well...you see, i keep a knife on me at all times, just incase of attack! upstairs in my room though...is my equipment. if some guy tried to fuck my party up, hed be one sorry son of a bitch. i've got some rope, a gun, baseball bat, and a few trinkets."

"Jeff you are fucked in the ehad big time!" cindy laughed
"OH you'll see, dont even worry about it if im around!"

just then the 3 of them heard a scream from outside
"That sounds alot like alexa..." jordan said ominously
"what the fuck!" screamed cindy
"Alexa and mike went to the forest, im sure there just being goofs." jordan told her
"I'll check it out just incase" jeff said as he headed upstairs.

Jeff came back down and handed jordan a gun.
"Just in case." he said
Jordan just nodded.
Jeff ran outside towards the sound of the scream, when he though he was near he started to approach slowly. Jeff saw exactly what he thought he would.

Alexa and mike were dead, there bodies hanging from the trees. Just then jeff heard gunshots and screams from the house. then it was all quite. jeff knew his friends had jsut been murdered. so he decided to get to work.

jeff ran halfway back to his house and stopped between two trees and set up a trip wire with his razor wire that he kept in his bag. after he was done setting it up, he yelled out.
"OH NO! everyone is dead, what will i ever do!?!?!"
he quickly hid behind some nearby trees.

jeff soon heard the brush rustling as someone raced towards his voice.
they stranger let out a huff of air as he trippe don the razor wire cutting his shins deeply.
the starnger started to scream in pain, when jeff came out form behind a tree and brought the bat up over his head, bringing it down on the strangers face, knocking him out.

when the starnger woke up, he was bandaged, and tied to a tree.
"What the fu-" he tried to say before jeff punched him in the stomach
"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" screamed jeff as he hit him again.
"who the fuck do you think you are? coming to my party and killing my friends? im gonna teach you a science lesson, do you know how many bones are in your body?"
"Why are yo-" the stranger was interupted agian
"ANSWER THE QUESTION!" jeff said as he struck him in the face.
"NO i dont!" yelled the stranger
"Well let us find out" jeff said
"How?" asked the stranger
"Im going to break every bone in your body!"
jeff swung the bat at the strangers feet over and over, cracking every bone in his feet.
"I hope your keeping track because im not." jeff told him
jeff swung the bat at the strangers feet again, breaking more and more bones.
"Ok i think i got them all, lets move on to the legs now!" jeff told him very enthusiastically.
the stranger screamed out in pain as jeff broke his shins, the man passed out from the pain

"Ill just wait until you wake up before i continue."
jeff told the unconciouse stranger while smiling.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Homesick the play By: Justin Pulfer

Homesick

The Play

Characters:

Craigery Trousse

May Baume

Larry – Craigery’s best friend

Autumn – May’s Friend

Act 1:

Scene 1:

[Craig and Larry are in the guys’ washroom, they take turns guarding the door so that the other can crush pills and sniff them].

They talk about a party and how it’s not exactly their crowd but it should still be fun. May’s name pops up,

[bell rings and they both exit.]

Scene 2:

[May, and Autumn are in the girls change room getting changed after gym class, the last girls walks out leaving them alone.]

They talk about how autumn cousin has invited them to a party. They debate about doing e for the first time. They agree to do e but no drinking; Larry’s name comes up in conversation.

[Bell rings and they exit.]

Scene 3:

[May, and Autumn are at May’s house getting ready for the party.]

Discussing boys who will be there, after discussing Larry and Craigery they leave for the party.

Scene 4:

[Craigery enters his room with wet hair and a towel. He puts on his clothes and then answers his cell phone],

Larry is outside. Craigery invites him up. They make last minute preparations.

[They both take e and go to the party.]

Act 2:

Scene 1:

[The party is large with pop punk music playing; everyone is dancing, talking and partying. Some people are sitting. May + Friends arrive,]

Autumn’s cousin greets them.

[They walk to the far side of the party]

. After a bit of talking, Craigery and Larry arrive. They talk to all the party guests.

[Craig keeps looking back at may and she keeps looking back at him.]

Larry asks why they keep looking back. Craigery + May say the don’t know why. At the same time they say they think the e is kicking in.

[then they look at each other and make eye contact]

[everyone in the room except may and Craigery move down stage against the wall

they walk towards each other and the song changes to something upbeat. They start dancing after a few moments they walk towards and into a bedroom.

When may and Craig enter bedroom, partiers come up stage and spread back out.]

Scene 2:

[They walk/kiss towards the bed. The end up lying down and making out. Craig starts to take off his shirt.]

May: before you do that, I need to know one thing.

Craig: what’s that?

May: your name

Craig: im Craigery Trousse

May: Well Craigery, I am May Baume, nice to meet you

[They keep kissing]

Scene 3:

[may and Craig are lying down underneath the covers; Larry walks in on them, quickly followed by autumn. May is embarrassed, gets dressed and runs out of the room]

Larry: What’s with her?

Autumn: oh…I think she’s just kind of surprised…she doesn’t really do this often

[Craig gets up and gets dressed, he writes something on a piece of paper and hands it to autumn]

Craig: here this is for may, it’s my phone number, and can you get here to call me?

Autumn: sure whatever you want chief

[Craig and Larry exit, autumn opens the note and reads it, then putting it into her pocket then exiting]

Scene 4:

[autumn and may are sitting around Mays room]

they discuss the party

[autumn hands may Craigery’s’ phone number]

they debate about calling him

[may ends up calling him and they agree to meet at the local coffee shop.]

[exit autumn and may]

Scene 5:

[Craig is sitting at a table at the coffee shop, enter may]

they talk about the party the night before and what happened

may explains that she doesn’t do drugs often, but the way that Craig made her feel, she wants that all the time, Craig tells her that he can give her that, there is a whole world of experiences to discover. May tells him that is all she wants, is to feel real.

Craig: baby, im gonna make you feel alive

[Fade out]

Act 3:

Scene 1:

[Larry and Craig are sitting around]

they talk about how Craig’s parents are going away for a week and how they should have a get together.

[Craig calls may]

Craig asks may if she and autumn want to come over, over night all next weekend

[Craig hangs up]

Craig and Larry talk about what drugs they should do, they both agree on lsd

[Fade out]

Scene 2:

[Craig, Larry and may are in a washroom at school, taking turn crushing things, and sniffing them]

Craig talks about the philosophy of feelings.

[bell rings and Larry exits]

may asks Craig to stay,

[they start making out, leaving the drugs on the counter]

[a male teacher walks in]

Teacher: what are yo-

[Craig throws his sweater over the head of the teacher, grabs the drugs in one hand, May’s in the other and runs out of the washroom]

[fade out]

Scene 3:

[may and Craig run outside to the park]

the talk about how close of a cal that was

Craig tells may they need to slow down she has jumped into this lifestyle too quickly, and is on a slippery slope. May tells him that she needs to feel this way, it’s the only time she feels real.

[Craig pulls out a joint and lights it]

Craig: alright, we can keep doing what were doing

[passes the joint to may]

[fade out]

Scene 4:

[Larry, Craig, may and autumn are sitting in Craig’s room]

they talk about how Craig’s parents are gone, and how much lsd they want to take.

[they take there hits]

[smoke machine fills room with smoke]

[smoke dissipates]

they have a huge conversation about living in the moment.

May wants to smoke more, but everyone is very hesitant

[Craig decides to roll another and smoke it with her.]

As he lights it he says

‘well do some drugs, well fall in love, and get fucked up while the world just shrugs’

[fade out]

Scene 5:

[may and Craig are sleeping in the same bed, Larry knocks at the door]

Craig: come in

Larry comes in and tells them about hoe autumn left.

May is upset and gives autumn a call

[Larry and Craig exit]

may has a conversation with autumn about how she’s being stupid, there learning to live, she shouldn’t be such a square.

May: well maybe I only want to be friends with people who understand me

[may hangs up the phone]

[fade out]

Act 4

Scene 1:

[may and Craig are in a park lying down and smoking]

they talk about how Larry and autumn have kind of abandoned them, but they don’t need them, they don’t need anyone.

[Craig rolls over until he is kind of on top of may]

he tells her what he is really afraid of, he tells her how he believes he is in a coma or in some dream, and how nothing ever feels real unless he is high on something, he tells her that is what he imagines death would be like. One instantaneous lsd trip.

May asks why he is telling her this

Craig: im not perfect, I don’t have all the answers. Im falling in love with you, and I don’t want you to fall in love with me on some premise that I know everything. I know what I know and not a bit more. Im not invincible, im just as fragile as you.

[May takes a drag from the smoke]

May: I love you too

[fade out]

Scene 2:

[May and Craig are sitting in the principles office with the principle]

The principle talks about how they have been skipping class all the time, and he knows that they are skipping to do drugs.

May and Craig tell there principle, that no offense but they just don’t care, nothing matters, least of all standardized learning.

The principle tells them he has nothing he can do but expel them.

May and Craig tell him that is fine with them

[they stand up and exit]

[fade out]

Scene 3:

[Craig and may are sitting around his room smoking]

Craig tells her about how he hates being human, and how he hates living.

May tells him that she is ready to go to the end with him.

Craig tells her that he thinks if he were to kill himself, he would wake up in a hospital bed

May tells him there is only one way to find out.

[fade out]

Scene 4:

[Craig and may are both sitting in his room each of them smoking a joint]

Craig and may are laughing and talking about random chit chat.

Both of them mention their joint went out

Craig: do you think that’s a sign?

May: I do

[Craig gets up and gets his gun from his drawer and sits back down next to may]

Craig: so…do you want me to do you first?

[may nods]

[Craig raises the gun to her head, and then lowers it]

may: what are you doi-

[Craig interrupts her mid sentence when he élans in and kisses her, he kisses her passionately, after he is done kissing her, he tells her he loves her, and raises the gun to shoot her]

[he pulls the trigger, and May’s body slumps down, he proceeds to bring the gun to his head, and without a word pull the trigger]

[fade out]

Act 5

[it is Craig’s and Mays funeral, the only people there are Craig’s and Mays parents as well as Larry.]

Craig and Mays parents walk up to the caskets, and complain about how they didn’t understand, and they wish the could have helped somehow.

[exit Craig and mays parents]

[Larry walks up to the caskets]

Larry: we both knew it would happen eventually

[fade out]

FIN

Monday, June 8, 2009

im tired of the way you make me feel.
not even you.
but your memory
even your friends.

sometimes im getting better.
i feel like life is getting better.
than one person will say a sentence to me.
and it all comes undone.

please just fuck right off.
your memory is losing its taste.
you'r not the angel i once thought you were.
now your merely a ghost.

and its not even your fault
nobody is to blame.
my emotions are just out of whack
blame this disorder for the monster it's created.

im scared of myself.
i dont know what ill do next.
and i dont even care.
what happens to me next.

i just want this to stop.
i dont want to be like this anymore.
i cant believe i got just what i wanted.
i mean, im not really surprised, i usually do.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Liberation

her chest flames
her heart pains
from your violent knife games

you told me i wasent the one
i said "well lets be honest, both of us got what we wanted, now its time to show your way out"

you armed yourself at the kitchen counter
as you screamed you stabbed her
"Dont look so suprised"

as she crawled across the floor
making her way towards the door.
in her ear you shouted more
"i dont think im as sorry as you think i am"

as we continue this tragic story
as he stabbed he stabbed his glory
the peaceful house turned dark and gory

the blood clung to the painting with haste
that boy's got exquisite taste.

love is what we lost
we had a connection
this feeling has gone too far
and killed two birds with one stone
a terrible last song
you sang so sweet.

"if i ever see you again
inside of this godles heaven
you'll sleep in hell"

she lays like a brocken clock
her hands dont turn anymore
what came next to him was quite a shock
the fact that he ahd loved her more

when the cops came he put his hands behind his head
when asked why he killed her this is what he said
"i got a message from above, he told me to do it. i did it for love!"